Body Language - What Does Yours Say?

An article by my friend Marion Grobb Finkelstein

Your Body Talks ... Do You Know What It's Saying?

 

 

Gut feeling, intuition, hunches. Whatever we call it, we all have feelings about people we meet. Part of the information we're taking in that leads to such conclusions is body language. Whether we realize it or not, we both read and speak it -- some of us better than others.

The old 7/38/55 rule from Dr. Albert Mehrabian is often quoted. In his studies of the 1960s, this UCLA professor deduced that in face-to-face communications, 7% of the message is conveyed through words, 38% through voice and 55% through body. In the 1970s, Australian researcher and author Allan Pease concluded that body accounted for up to a whopping 80%! Even though some more recent research suggests that these percentages may be more equally distributed, the fact remains that our bodies most definitely talk. In fact, at times, they downright scream.

Have you ever seen a certain gesture and felt, for sure, that you knew what it meant? You might be mistaken.

Although it's tempting to witness one action, gesture or reaction and use that one thing to conclusively interpret someone's meaning, it is misleading to do so. Non-verbal communication is best read when using what I call, the "4 Key Cs":

• Context: Here's a news flash -- sometimes people cross their arms just because they're cold. It doesn't necessarily mean that they're closed to what you're saying. Work versus social environment also affects how we interact with others. Before you assess the body language, consider the context.

• Culture: Most countries represent a mix of ethnicities, backgrounds and cultures. Many of us celebrate that diversity. We are also exposed to it, due to work or private life, as we travel to other countries. A caution: gestures that are commonplace to us mean different things to others. For example, the A-OK sign in Japan is a symbol for coin money and in parts of Germany is an obscene gesture. Although eye contact is valued in mainstream North American culture, it is to be avoided in other cultures. Different cultures, different meanings.

• Clusters: As a rule of thumb, using clusters of three actions or gestures, versus just one, to suggest a certain meaning increases your chances of correctly interpreting the meaning. Reading non-verbal communications correctly requires us to refrain from stereotyping or drawing conclusions until we have enough evidence. And even at that, body language is just an indicator, simply one piece in the puzzle of understanding and reading each other correctly.

• Calibration: We all have certain physical actions and idiosyncrasies. Calibrating body signals against a certain individual allows for this fact. Perhaps someone is blinking all the time, not because they are speaking a mistruth or don't believe what you're saying - maybe they just have chronically itchy eyes. Gestures depend on the person.

Next time, before you draw conclusions from someone's actions, consider the 4 Cs of reading body language. When you do, chances are your gut feeling, intuition or hunch will be a more accurate one.

Until next time, here's to ...

Better communication, better business, better life,

 

Marion Grobb Finkelstein

COMMUNICATION CATALYST
Keynote Speaker / Corporate Trainer / Author

www.MarionSpeaks.com

Marion@MarionSpeaks.com

www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks

Recipient of APEX "Award for Leadership in Service Innovation"
© 2013 Marion Grobb Finkelstein\
 

Communication catalyst, author, professional speaker Marion Grobb Finkelstein teaches individuals and organizations across Canada and beyond, how to connect with clients, colleagues, employees and bosses, and how to handle workplace communication challenges to improve morale, confidence and productivity. Chat with her at www.facebook.com/MarionSpeaks and sign up for her FREE weekly "Marion's Communication Tips" at www.MarionSpeaks.com

Dealing With Self-Induced Stress

Do you have just 2 minutes? That's all the time it takes to read the following article. But if you're really short on time, just read the first paragraph. It summarizes the whole text.

Enjoy!


Free article no. 134
DEALING WITH SELF-INDUCED STRESS
by J.A. Gamache
Third place Champion at the 2001 Toastmasters International World Championship of Public Speaking

I learned an important lesson when I first presented my inspirational keynote entitled "Cross the line!". When striving for perfection, we can sometimes create our own stress.

After many years as an amateur speaker, I had accumulated enough material to give a strong sixty-minute speech.

One day, the president of a company saw my free presentation and was thrilled with it; so much so that he hired me on the spot to present it to his employees.

I was nervous. It was the first time I was being paid a professional speaking fee, so disappointing my client was out of the question! I interviewed him, adapted my presentation to his employees' needs, and then organized a rehearsal in front of a dozen people.

The rehearsal was a disaster! I was shaking like a leaf and my mouth ran dry. I had lost my usual stamina and was constantly looking at my notes because I was forgetting my text.

And the real presentation was only two days away!!!

Can you imagine how hard I worked over the next two days? I practiced my speech over and over again.

On the day of my presentation, just as I was announced to the audience, I realized that my notes were still in the car. Instead of panicking, I said to myself: "Tough luck. You know your text, and if you forget, you'll just improvise." So I went on stage.

That interior dialog was the turning point that made all the difference. Unlike rehearsal day, I didn't worry about being perfect, and most of my stress vanished away.

My speech was a success. Of course I forgot a small part of my text, but the audience couldn't tell. Having already put in all the hard work, I was able to relax on the floor and allow myself to perform without my notes.

This message is for perfectionists like me. Wanting to avoid mistakes at all costs during the performance may be the cause of your stress. It was a blessing that I forgot my notes that day. Instead of trying to be a flawless speaker, I was myself, and that made the day perfect!

Happy speech!

©MMXI J.A. Gamache www.jagamache.com. All rights reserved.


To your successful speaking

Fran
P.S.  Sign up for my free ezine and get 800 speech topics - Click here

---------------------------------
PERMISSION IS GRANTED TO REPRODUCE THIS ARTICLE in whole or
in part if a copy of the reproduced text is sent to J.A. Gamache at info@jagamache.com after publication and also provided that this byline, including the following paragraph, appears along with the reproduced text:

This article was reproduced from "Speaking in Public with J.A.", a FREE electronic magazine authored by J.A. Gamache, International Inspirational Speaker. To subscribe to his FREE e-zine or to find out more about his presentations, visit: http://www.jagamache.com.

Body Language

Body language is very important when delivering a speech.


Have you ever seen our great leaders fidget or make unnecessary movements while addressing the nation?

Since you are the center of attention while making the presentation, you should mind every move that you make so as not to bore or distract the people listening to your speech.

So you already have a speech prepared, you know the topic well and you are now standing in front of the audience.

They are in for a treat because you have prepared a great presentation, yet you also know that they have a very short attention span.

How would you keep them interested with what you are saying?

The answer is to maintain eye contact.

This is one public speaking technique that great speakers use when addressing a large group of people.

Here are some tips on how you can use this "trick" to keep your audience interested while delivering a speech:

Once you have already started speaking and have delivered your introduction, take a look at your audience.

Do not be nervous if you see one or two people frowning as you are not sure of exactly what they are thinking.

Instead of looking out for unfriendly or blank faces, search for the people who are smiling and nodding their heads.

Try to focus on this person for a couple of minutes and look him or her in the eye.

This way, you would have an immediate "friend" in the audience to whom you can look at and gain confidence from.

This will not just increase your confidence but also relax you in the course of your speech.

Gaze steadily at your audience, moving from one part of the room to another. This way, you would immediately grasp their attention.

Never read your speech. Just make an outline of the important points that you can expand on.

If you have visuals, do not read the bullet points word for word as this might imply that your audience cannot read that themselves.

With this, you are instantly creating a "bond" with your audience as a
speaker since you do not have to keep on looking at your notes through the course of your speech.

The key to delivering a great speech is to just breathe, relax and make eye to eye contact with your audience.

Thus, you are not just making a physical connection with them but you are also ensured that you come out as a sincere speaker who wants to inform and interact with the audience through your speech.

To your speaking success

Fran

P.S.  For a list of over 800 speech topics, click here

Public Speaking - The Key Is In The Body Language.

Most people have a fear of speaking to a large group. This is a totally normal apprehension. People may visualise the audience laughing at them, or shouting out. This is an extremely rare occurrence, unless you are a politician.

Most people listening to you are aware of the pressures you are under and would never change places with you.

These guidelines will help you to overcome your fears.

1. Know your subject. Read through your presentation beforehand. Read around the subject, so that you are confident that you know more than your audience, even after you have spoken. If you know your subject then you will come across in an interesting way and keep the attention of your audience.

2. Expect to do well. Your expectations are obvious in your body language. If your audience sees that you expect to do badly, you will do badly. Expectation is vital.

3. Look at your audience. Eye contact is vital if you are to judge their understanding so that you can change the pace of your delivery if necessary.

4. Use notes. You should never, never read your speech from a sheet.

5. Slow your speech down. This makes you appear more confident and enables your audience to take it in more easily. If you are talking slower, it is easier for your audience to maintain their attention, and momentary lapses in their concentration mean that they miss less.

6. Vary the tone and level of your voice. This maintains interest. You should speak clearly and project your voice, rather than shouting. Talking quietly in key segments means that your listeners will need to actively listen to those parts of your presentation.

7. Avoid excessive body movements and gestures. Hand gestures can be used for emphasis only.

8. Keep your hands and thumbs visible. Holding your hands out, with the thumbs uppermost is a very powerful dominance gesture. Watch politicians speaking, they all use this gesture.

9. Rejoice in the endorphin high that you will feel when it goes well.

For more information on public speaking, check out Toastmasters

To your success as a public speaker!!

Fran Watson

P.S. You can get a copy of over 800 speech topics here