DO YOU SHOUT - EVEN WHEN YOU ARE SILENT?
By Martin Avis
There is a language that we all speak, but few are conscious of: the language of our bodies.
When we are talking to others - either face-to-face, or from the front of the room, our posture, gestures, eye movements and general demeanor communicate far more than our words.
It is said that women interpret up to 80% of the meaning of a conversation by non-verbal means. Men fall a bit behind and 'only' rely on non-verbal clues for about 30%. However, in either case, if you are unconsciously giving out the wrong signals, the meaning behind your intended message will be weakened or lost.
Body language is a vast, fascinating subject, but from a business point of view, there are several pointers that can help to strengthen your message. The aim is to match your audience's unconscious template of what makes a person trustworthy and believable.
Try out these five tips and see if they help you:
1. Personal Space
Everybody has a personal space threshold. Generally, Americans and Northern Europeans prefer to stand about a meter (3 feet) apart. People from Southern European and Asian countries are comfortable a little closer. Folks who live in rural areas like a little more space. Social situations allow closer proximities than non-social.
Be aware if the person you are talking to is backing up, and try not to intrude on their territory. Otherwise the reaction will be defensive or hostile.
2. Eye Movements
Many people are nervous about making eye contact - it is vital to overcome that fear if you want to be respected and believed. An evasive or indirect gaze sends out a strong signal of untrustworthiness.
When speaking to a room full of people, it is essential that you allow yourself to make - and maintain for a few seconds - eye contact with everyone in the room, over and over.
++++++++++ True Story ++++++++++
I was recently invited to America to give a presentation to about forty business people, few of them known to me. The meeting went well and I made as much eye contact as possible. Afterwards, a guy who had been sitting off to my left came up to me and thanked me for a useful and entertaining talk. Then he said something strange: he apologized for offending me.
Puzzled, I assured him that it wasn't so, and asked why he thought so. This is what he said:
"Oh, I had a very late night last night, and after you had been talking for twenty minutes or so, I couldn't [keep] myself [from] yawning. After that, you didn't make any eye contact with me for the rest of the session, so I figured I'd upset you."
The truth was, I hadn't seen the yawn. He had been sitting just outside my comfortable visual area, and I had been concentrating on eyeballing everyone else in the room so hard, that I had missed him out.
I gave him a lot of attention he went away happy. But I couldn't help think that that guy might have been the most important person in the room and I could have blown the whole trip with that stupid act of inattention.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
3. Appearance
It seems old-fashioned to talk about the need to be 'well turned out', but the axiom that 'you don't get a second chance to make a good first impression' is as true today as ever.
Experts say that the first five seconds of a meeting are more important than the next hour. Check all the obvious things like hair, teeth, fingernails, shoes, breath, immediately before the meeting. But also make sure you are putting on your best front, well in advance.
Even if the dress code is casual, there is a world of difference between dirty jeans and a crumpled T-shirt, and freshly laundered casual trousers and a polo shirt. Remember - dress to respect yourself and you automatically respect your audience.
4. Hands
Your hands are like semaphore flags. They send a message whatever position they are in.
Take a look at prominent politicians - they almost all use their hands to reinforce their words. Whether it is a chopping motion, like John F. Kennedy, or an open handed gesture like the English Prime Minister Blair, they are all intended to send visual signals directly to the right-brain of the listener to augment the words which normally address the left-brain.
One of the things I am asked most often when teaching presentation skills is 'what do I do with my hands?'
The easy answer 'just be natural' is not only unhelpful, but also completely wrong. You have to think of your hands and arms as every bit as important as the charts and slides you are presenting.
There are five places your hands can comfortably be:
- 1. In your pockets. Don't do it! It might feel natural, but the signal this gives is anything but. You will look uncomfortable, casual and unsure of yourself.
- 2. Clasped behind your back. This looks aloof and superior, and should be avoided.
- 3. Relaxed, by your side. This feels very unnatural to most people, but actually looks good to the audience. It makes you seem to lack tension.
- 4. On your hips. This is a very positive position. It sends out a message that you are comfortable and self- assured. Don't overdo it. This stance is best used at moments when you stop speaking and are allowing the audience a moment to absorb your message.
- 5. Gesticulating. Learn the messages that your hands convey and use them to emphasize your points: an open hand denotes honesty; a closed fist, aggression or evasion; a pointing finger, hostility. Also be aware of cultural differences. The American thumb and forefinger gesture meaning 'okay' may be insulting in Denmark.
5. Read the Room
You are not the only one who is communicating non-verbally. Learn to recognize the unconscious signals that your audience is feeding back to you.
* A tilted head and direct eye contact indicates attentive approval.
* Raised eyebrows and forward-leaning posture denotes attentive alertness.
* Indirect gaze, accompanied by pen or finger biting show uncertainty.
* Folded arms can indicate hostility.
* A hand to the chin show that you are being summed up.
Finally, learn constantly. Whenever you watch a presenter, try to work out why they are good or bad. Every time you make a presentation, try to detach yourself and see how you can be even better next time.
And remember, applause doesn't always mean you are great - the audience might be being polite, and gentle snoring from the back of the room doesn't always show that you need to work on your technique - the CEO probably just had too good a lunch!
Martin Avis publishes a free weekly newsletter: BizE-Zine - your unfair advantage in Internet marketing, business and personal success. To subscribe, and get 4 great free gifts, please visit http://www.BizE-zine.com
Yours to letting your body speak positively for you!
Fran Watson
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Engage Yourself, Engage Your Audience
By Jean Hamilton, Owner and Founder of Speaking Results
Do you wish you were a more dynamic and compelling speaker? Do you want to know how to effectively engage your audience? In this article I identify 4 elements that enable you be at your best when speaking. The four elements are: Passionate, Analytical, Confiding and Extemporaneous or P.A.C.E.
The Passionate Speaker. Passionate speakers exude energy and a contagious enthusiasm. Passion is the fuel. If we don't care about our message, it's a sure bet that nobody else will. Often, people care about their message, but are reluctant to show much passion in their presentations. In everyday life when we are excited about something, we show it, we communicate it, and influence others. It makes sense then, during a presentation when your objective is to motivate or persuade others, to allow yourself to get passionate!
If you are fearful that you will look foolish, remember audiences do not like boring speakers. So go for it. Allow your voice to get loud. Move through space. Feel strongly about your subject. Both you and your audience will enjoy the benefits. As important as it is, passion just for the sake of passion gets tiresome. It's a wonderful flavor, but we don't always want hot chili peppers.
The Analytical Speaker. The purpose of this element is to establish credibility and expertise. You accomplish this when you relay information in a clear, concise manner. Content level is high with facts and data. For your left-brain audience members, this is essential.
To develop your Analytical side, question your beliefs. How can you support those beliefs with data and examples? There is little body movement in the Analytical style and the voice has little modulation.
The Analytical element is necessary for establishing credibility, but if used too much, presentations will become boring. Many people think that business presentations are "supposed" to be analytical. But if your audience is not listening, your speech has no impact. When eyes start to glaze over, become passionate! As long as you shift gears, you will get the audience back.
The Confiding Speaker. When we confide with someone, we bring them in as our trusted advisor. We develop rapport. To create a stronger connection with your audience, explore the confiding style.
The Confiding speaker talks slowly, and quietly, with good eye contact. Emotion is bubbling right under the surface. Share aspects from your life experiences with stories that overlap with their stories. There is great strength in being "at home" in front of an audience. We can be vulnerable without becoming weak.
Strength and passion motivate others, but the key to an effective presenter is flexibility in your behavior. You can be loud, and you can also be soft. Rather than always persuading or motivating, let the audience come to you. Too much emphasis placed on the Confiding style will make your speech self-indulgent. Just the right amount makes the audience a true supporter. You have brought them into the role of a confidant, and they feel honored.
Finally, the Extemporaneous Speaker. The purpose of this element is to keep your presentations fresh. It requires you to be available and responsive to impulses. Humor happens in the moment. Often the funniest, most pertinent times happen when we are improvising with our audience.
When you speak extemporaneously, your voice has a lot of variety. Your body emphasizes points with gestures and facial expressions. Your mood is light and readily responds to audience reactions.
Many people are scared to be spontaneous during a speech. But if you hold on to the reins too tightly, you squelch the life out of your speech. Even if much of your presentation is planned, allow for some moments of spontaneity, and you will develop a deeper connection to your audience.
How do you become more extemporaneous? Take a deep breath and relax. It's impossible to be extemporaneous if you are tense. Notice yourself in everyday interactions when you give a quick, witty response. Recognize that you have that capability within you. Take an Improvisation or Stand-up Comedy class to build your "spontaneity" muscle. Though it is vital to be extemporaneous, if you spend too much time there, your presentation will lack a clear sense of direction.
By interweaving all four elements of the P.A.C.E. model: Passionate, Analytical, Confiding and Extemporaneous, you will be able to engage your audience intellectually and emotionally.
Flexibility is key. When you have the skill to shift your style according to what the situation calls for, you can engage your audience and have much more impact.
Reprinted from Presenters University
Jean Hamilton, owner of Speaking Results, is a speaker, trainer and coach on Communication and Presentation Skills. She has worked with CEO's, CFO's, administrators, sales trainers, realtors, and financial advisors. Companies that she has worked for include; Aventail, CREW Network, First Consulting Group, Global Partnerships, Merrill Lynch, Peterson Sullivan, and Port of Seattle. Visit Jean's web site at: www.speakingresults.com. Call her with any questions at: 206-933-6645.
Do you wish you were a more dynamic and compelling speaker? Do you want to know how to effectively engage your audience? In this article I identify 4 elements that enable you be at your best when speaking. The four elements are: Passionate, Analytical, Confiding and Extemporaneous or P.A.C.E.
The Passionate Speaker. Passionate speakers exude energy and a contagious enthusiasm. Passion is the fuel. If we don't care about our message, it's a sure bet that nobody else will. Often, people care about their message, but are reluctant to show much passion in their presentations. In everyday life when we are excited about something, we show it, we communicate it, and influence others. It makes sense then, during a presentation when your objective is to motivate or persuade others, to allow yourself to get passionate!
If you are fearful that you will look foolish, remember audiences do not like boring speakers. So go for it. Allow your voice to get loud. Move through space. Feel strongly about your subject. Both you and your audience will enjoy the benefits. As important as it is, passion just for the sake of passion gets tiresome. It's a wonderful flavor, but we don't always want hot chili peppers.
The Analytical Speaker. The purpose of this element is to establish credibility and expertise. You accomplish this when you relay information in a clear, concise manner. Content level is high with facts and data. For your left-brain audience members, this is essential.
To develop your Analytical side, question your beliefs. How can you support those beliefs with data and examples? There is little body movement in the Analytical style and the voice has little modulation.
The Analytical element is necessary for establishing credibility, but if used too much, presentations will become boring. Many people think that business presentations are "supposed" to be analytical. But if your audience is not listening, your speech has no impact. When eyes start to glaze over, become passionate! As long as you shift gears, you will get the audience back.
The Confiding Speaker. When we confide with someone, we bring them in as our trusted advisor. We develop rapport. To create a stronger connection with your audience, explore the confiding style.
The Confiding speaker talks slowly, and quietly, with good eye contact. Emotion is bubbling right under the surface. Share aspects from your life experiences with stories that overlap with their stories. There is great strength in being "at home" in front of an audience. We can be vulnerable without becoming weak.
Strength and passion motivate others, but the key to an effective presenter is flexibility in your behavior. You can be loud, and you can also be soft. Rather than always persuading or motivating, let the audience come to you. Too much emphasis placed on the Confiding style will make your speech self-indulgent. Just the right amount makes the audience a true supporter. You have brought them into the role of a confidant, and they feel honored.
Finally, the Extemporaneous Speaker. The purpose of this element is to keep your presentations fresh. It requires you to be available and responsive to impulses. Humor happens in the moment. Often the funniest, most pertinent times happen when we are improvising with our audience.
When you speak extemporaneously, your voice has a lot of variety. Your body emphasizes points with gestures and facial expressions. Your mood is light and readily responds to audience reactions.
Many people are scared to be spontaneous during a speech. But if you hold on to the reins too tightly, you squelch the life out of your speech. Even if much of your presentation is planned, allow for some moments of spontaneity, and you will develop a deeper connection to your audience.
How do you become more extemporaneous? Take a deep breath and relax. It's impossible to be extemporaneous if you are tense. Notice yourself in everyday interactions when you give a quick, witty response. Recognize that you have that capability within you. Take an Improvisation or Stand-up Comedy class to build your "spontaneity" muscle. Though it is vital to be extemporaneous, if you spend too much time there, your presentation will lack a clear sense of direction.
By interweaving all four elements of the P.A.C.E. model: Passionate, Analytical, Confiding and Extemporaneous, you will be able to engage your audience intellectually and emotionally.
Flexibility is key. When you have the skill to shift your style according to what the situation calls for, you can engage your audience and have much more impact.
Reprinted from Presenters University
Jean Hamilton, owner of Speaking Results, is a speaker, trainer and coach on Communication and Presentation Skills. She has worked with CEO's, CFO's, administrators, sales trainers, realtors, and financial advisors. Companies that she has worked for include; Aventail, CREW Network, First Consulting Group, Global Partnerships, Merrill Lynch, Peterson Sullivan, and Port of Seattle. Visit Jean's web site at: www.speakingresults.com. Call her with any questions at: 206-933-6645.
Confident Public Speaking - Have Something To Say
The trouble with many speakers is that they go before an audience with their minds a blank. It is no wonder that nature, abhorring a vacuum, fills them with the nearest thing handy, which generally happens to be, "I wonder if I am doing this right! How does my hair look? I know I shall fail." Their prophetic souls are sure to be right.
It is not enough to be absorbed by your subject—to acquire self-confidence you must have something in which to be confident. If you go before an audience without any preparation, or previous knowledge of your subject, you ought to be self-conscious—you ought to be ashamed to steal the time of your audience.
Prepare yourself. Know what you are going to talk about, and, in general, how you are going to say it. Have the first few sentences worked out completely so that you may not be troubled in the beginning to find words.
Know your subject better than your hearers know it, and you have nothing to fear.
To confidence in public speaking!!
Fran Watson
P.S. Sign up for my ezine - speakersinfo@getresponse.com
P.P.S. Check out this book - Mastering Public Speaking
It is not enough to be absorbed by your subject—to acquire self-confidence you must have something in which to be confident. If you go before an audience without any preparation, or previous knowledge of your subject, you ought to be self-conscious—you ought to be ashamed to steal the time of your audience.
Prepare yourself. Know what you are going to talk about, and, in general, how you are going to say it. Have the first few sentences worked out completely so that you may not be troubled in the beginning to find words.
Know your subject better than your hearers know it, and you have nothing to fear.
To confidence in public speaking!!
Fran Watson
P.S. Sign up for my ezine - speakersinfo@getresponse.com
P.P.S. Check out this book - Mastering Public Speaking
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