Does Fear Control You?

Why didn’t I send a resume to that job. I had most of the qualifications and the person they hired doesn’t have anywhere near the skills that I have….

Why didn’t I enter that contest last year. I thought about it lots, I could have entered, but I didn’t. Why didn’t I?

Why didn’t I go and talk to that new person at the office. She seemed nice enough, but I just let everyone else say hi. What’s wrong with me?

Is your life full of “Why didn’t Is?” If it is, then you too are a victim of………….FEAR!

Fear causes us to do strange things. It may cause us to hide in our houses and not come out for days or weeks. It can cause us to give up on friendships because we think that the person might not like us. It can cause us to see rejection when someone doesn’t say good morning to us when they come into the office.

That demon FEAR can really wreck our lives!

So what can we do about it?

There are many things we can do. Those of us who entered the door of Toastmasters, quivering and quaking in our boots learned that taking that first step was the absolute hardest, but once that step was taken the rest became easier. And that is the secret to beating that FEAR demon.

The first thing we have to do is to look carefully at what our fear really is. Is it a fear of rejection? A fear of looking foolish? A fear of being judged? A fear of failing? Whatever it is, the next step is to ask yourself, what’s the worst thing that could happen? If I’m rejected, will my world stop, will I cease to exist? No, my life will go on and I will find someone who won’t reject me.

What about looking foolish? Well, let yourself do something really foolish, put on a clown suit, encourage people to laugh at you. And as far as being judged, what does it really matter what the neighbours think? You need to be happy about what you are doing for you, not for the neighbours.

Fear of failure prevents many of us from pursuing our dreams. We ask ourselves… “what if….” Well, what if you do fail? What then? You just try another way. When you were a toddler and you fell down, you didn’t think it was the end of the world, you simply got up and took another step, reaching for your goal.

Fear of rejection has controlled my life in many ways, and I have limited myself, not tried when I expected negative results. The words I heard as a young child come back to haunt me time after time and I have to overcome the feeling and go forward.

I wrote a poem for a friend back in 1987, but it is a poem that I wrote for myself as well and I return to it time after time for the inspiration to carry on when I feel like giving up, when FEAR has me in its grasp and I would like to share it with you in closing. It is entitled RISK.

RISK

Do not be afraid to shine.
This world needs what you have to give.
Open up the areas of your being;
expose them to yourself - to others.
You are valuable.
You are unique.
You have much to give.
Do not be afraid to give it.

As we risk ourselves, we grow.
Each new experience is a risk:
we can try, and maybe fail,
and as a result, grow -
or hold back and stagnate.

You have the potential
to be anything you want to be!
You are free to choose.
You are limited only by your fears.
Let your dreams take over,
fly with the eagles,
soar into life,
the world is waiting for you!

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Fly high, don't let fear drag you down!!

Fran
www.franwatson.ca