Avoid Developing Bad Habits

AVOID DEVELOPING BAD HABITS DURING PRACTICE
by J.A. Gamache
Third place Champion at the 2001 Toastmasters International
World Championship of Public Speaking

When practicing a speech, don't pause after you make a
mistake. If you stop and start again, you might develop a
reflex that will manifest itself on the day of your
performance.

I'll always remember one of my first English speech contests.
As a native French speaker, I was inexperienced with the
English language and was really nervous at the idea of
mispronouncing words. Back then, my accent was so thick that
I couldn't always make myself understood.

During rehearsals, I would stop myself each time I
mispronounced something and then would repeat the word, using
the correct pronunciation. I improved a lot this way and was
correcting my imperfections.

On the day of the contest, I continued the same pattern and
would stop to repeat a word whenever I mispronounced it. It
would have been better had I ignored these errors, but I
couldn't help myself because my habit of self-correction had
turned into a conditioned reflex. As I stumbled repeatedly
during my speech, I gave the judges the impression that I was
ill prepared, which made me lose the contest.

I learned a great lesson from that defeat. When you prepare a
speech, it's better to practice as through you're really
facing an audience, for the following reasons:

1- YOU'LL AVOID DEVELOPING UNDESIRABLE REFLEXES.
You won't instil bad habits in yourself, such as constantly
correcting yourself when speaking in front of a group.

2- YOU'LL DEVELOP THE HABIT OF DEALING WITH CONTINGENCIES.
Here's a partial list of contingencies you could encounter
during rehearsals (and also on the day of your speech):
- Stammering or mispronouncing something
- Forgetting your text
- Inverting parts of your speech
- Mishandling a prop
- Experiencing computer problems
- Being distracted by an interruption

3- YOU'LL GAIN SELF-CONFIDENCE.
On the day of your presentation, you won't be dreading any
unpleasant surprises. You'll know what to do because you've
encountered them during rehearsals.

Practice your speech as if you were really in front of an
audience, and you'll avoid bad habits. You'll also develop
strategies to get yourself out of predicaments and you'll be
less stressed when faced with an unforeseen event.

Happy speech!

©MMXII J.A. Gamache www.jagamache.com. All rights reserved.


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PERMISSION IS GRANTED TO REPRODUCE THIS ARTICLE
in whole or in part if a copy of the reproduced text is sent
to J.A. Gamache at info@jagamache.com after publication and
also provided that the following bylineappears along with the
reproduced text:

This article was reproduced from "Speaking in Public with
J.A.", a FREE electronic magazine authored by J.A. Gamache,
International Inspirational Speaker. To subscribe to his FREE
e-zine or to find out more about his presentations, visit:
http://www.jagamache.com.

For more tips on public speaking click here

How are YOU Successful?

This is a question that I have been considering over the past week as I began my studying with Mark Hendricks and the Ultimate Success Program.

Mark's goal is to help me (and everyone else) change my mindset from lack to prosperity.  He had us begin by listing all the ways we have been successful in the past so that we can build on that success to create a new fuutre.

It's like moving through the Toastmasters Competent Communicator manual, building on the successes of each speech and moving on to the next one - from the Ice Breaker to Organizing Your Speech, to Vocal Variety, Body Language, Researching Your Topic, Using Props, etc., until you ultimately complete your final speech inspiring your audience.  Then you move on to the Advanced Manuals, choosing one that will enhance your skills in a particular area.

The Ultimate Success Program ia another way to build your skills, to achieve success in your life.  Each week you work through the lesson using audios and print outs and then a simple test before you move on to the next lesson. 

Why don't you join me?  We can work through the lessons together and share experiences.  I have already learned so much about myself and the successes I have achieved.  Just click here for more information.

Hope to see you there.

Fran Watson

7 Deadly Sins - Tip #4

Have you ever given a speech that ran over time?

Deadly Sin #4: Gluttony

by Andrew Dlugan sixminutes.dlugan.com

Gluttony is exhibited by speakers who believe that more is always better.
More slides, more bullets, more examples, more facts, more numbers, more details, more words — more of everything.

Packing all possible material into your presentation and then speeding through it is flawed, despite your best intentions to provide maximum value. More is (usually) not better. Cognitive research shows that people have a limited capacity to absorb information (see Kosslyn’s Clear and to the Point and Mayer’s Multimedia Learning). Overloading that capacity will reduce their ability to absorb anything at all! Quantity is no substitute for quality.

It is better to focus your presentation on your core message, select only the very best support material (facts, slides, anecdotes), and speak at a reasonable pace. Supplementary material, if necessary, belongs in a handout.

All of this gluttony — too many slides, too many stories, too many details — leads the speaker down a dark and dirty path towards…

Come back to find out more....

Fran Watson

P.S. For more tips on how to be a successful public speaker, click here!

Make Public Speaking Easier

7 Tips To Make Public Speaking Easier

Tip 1: Normalize your fear. In other words, be aware that just about everyone shares the fear of public speaking. It is normal in our society.

Tip2. Remember that your thoughts create your reality. If you tell yourself, “I am a terrible public speaker,” then you’ll become that which you think.

Tip 3. Remember to visualize how you want to see yourself being. How would you ideally like to feel when speaking in front of people? Would you like to be calm and relaxed? Start visualizing yourself as a calm and relaxed speaker, and step inside of the picture and feel the feelings as if they are happening right now.

Tip 4. Give yourself a positive verbal suggestion, such as “I am a calm, confident, dynamic public speaker.” Within a short period of time you will became what you affirm.

Tip 5. Ask yourself why you are afraid? Did a negative episode happen in your life where you where ridiculed or judged? If so, a part of you decided, “I’ll never do that again.” It became your survival strategy. Healing that wound will require that you ask the scared part what it would need to feel safe. Perhaps your scared part would only be willing to speak up if it was being heard by a friendly, supportive audience, where mistakes were allowed (such as a Toastmasters Club.)

Tip 6. Find a person who will listen with support and encouragement, like a coach or a mentor. Then role play with that person until you feel comfortable speaking.

Tip 7. Speak from your heart. Realize that your speaking is a gift. It is benefiting the listener. Become passionate about what you say. Focus on them, not you. This is about them and what you have to give to them.

Adapted from Dr. Maya Bailey, http://www.90daystomoreclients.com/

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Fran

P.S. For a Free copy of over 800 Speech Topics send me an email to
speakersinfo @ getresponse.com (no spaces) or click here

A Speaker's Greatest Tool

Your greatest tool as a speaker is your voice. Every time you address an audience your mind, your body and your voice act as partners in the task of getting your message across to your listeners. When you speak, your voice is the primary link between you and your listeners – it’s the medium of your message.

The importance of having an effective voice isn’t restricted to public speaking. A good, controlled voice is an asset in every contact with others. Your voice mirrors your personality with a language all its own – a language that people recognize and respond to immediately. A natural voice that projects an image of cordiality, cultivation and authority is a significant tool for personal success. It can help in gaining promotions, making sales, winning the respect of others and improving your social opportunities, as well as in speaking effectively to audiences.

When you speak, your voice reflects your psychological and emotional state of mind. You can’t hope to persuade or influence others – or even get them to listen in a positive way – if your tones are harsh, scolding and unfriendly. Such a voice can repel even when the speaker wishes to attract. The quality of friendliness is a prime requisite for a good speaking voice. It’s largely a matter of habit, as is the unfriendly tone.

If you’ve fallen into the habit of scolding, snarling and speaking in an unpleasant tone, and the effect you seek is to produce the genial, cheerful and gracious tones that characterize a good speaking voice, you may need to do more than simply develop your voice. You may have to reassess your way of looking at yourself, other people and events in general.

But if you’re like most people, the chances are excellent that you can develop the sort of voice that wins favourable attention and reflects the qualities you wish to project. To do so, you must strive to strip away any bad speech habits that may have accumulated over the years. And you must work to build the type of positive habits that will enhance your speaking voice.

Your voice and your face are your “public relations” agents. More than any other factors, they serve to establish an image of you in the minds of others. Your face, body and speech are the interpreters of your mind. They reveal your character – the real you – as nothing else can.

A smile – whether it starts in your face, your disposition or your voice – reacts on the other elements and tends to induce a positive, constructive complex which makes your attitude and appearance attractive and pleasing.

Your best voice can help bring out your best self. Nature has given you a priceless gift in your voice. It is the means by which you can communicate with others – the medium of your message. It also makes possible understanding and camaraderie. By your voice and your words, your influence is made upon those whom your life may touch.

Yours for better speaking

Fran

Using Unexpected Openers

Use Unexpected Openers to Capture Audience Interest
By David Green

The informal networking session was over and the 20-odd working speechwriters took their seats in the conference room in eager anticipation of the lunch speaker. It was to be Ted Sorenson, renowned speechwriter and confidante for John F. Kennedy during his White House years.

Sorenson took his place at the podium, smiled kindly at the gathering, and then began: “Thank you so much for having me here today. It is quite an honor to be with you…and that concludes my prepared remarks.”

Now, if you are a god in your industry and have the audience hanging on your every word before you even open your mouth… you can get away with an opening like that. But when it comes to making speeches and presentations, most of us are still mere mortals. And, as the saying goes, you have only one chance to make a first impression. So your opening comments are critical. You have to engage your audience from the get-go.

That’s why so many speakers think they need to start their talk with a story or a joke – to get the audience “on their side.” These opening gambits are what I call “speech props” and they can be extremely useful…in concept. But not if they come from one of those “500 great jokes for public speakers” sourcebooks.

Because you not only have to engage your audience, you have to overcome their expectations so that they don’t write you off before you get to the good stuff in your presentation. Oh yes, the audience thinks they know what to expect from you. They know your title, your company, maybe they’ve seen an abstract – they think they’ve got you pegged.

Power of the Unexpected

So it’s time to counter-program by opening with a story that throws them off balance, that bends their perspective, that makes them look at you with fresh eyes…and listen with fresh ears. This is pure Made-to-Stick 101 – and if that reference doesn’t ring a bell, you might want to check out Chip and Dan Heath’s book Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die.

The Heath brothers offer 6 basic precepts for creating memorable communications, but the one I particularly fancy is Principle 2: Unexpectedness. Here’s their take on why unexpectedness matters:

“How do we get our audience to pay attention to our ideas, and how do we maintain their interest when we need time to get the ideas across? We need to violate people’s expectations. We need to be counterintuitive.”

Okay, fine…so, how do you do that exactly? By following these three basic “rules.”

1) Look outside the box

Get outside your industry. Look for stimuli that aren’t “making the rounds.” Seek provocative thinking. One of the best sources might be the web site of the Technology, Entertainment and Design (TED) conference, http://www.ted.com/ Many of the five- to 20-minute talks posted there, videotaped from the conference proceedings, are highly effective at turning your head around and making you see your world differently.

I have a friend who, knowing that I do a lot of work with technology companies, occasionally sends me articles like “The 10 stupidest tech company blunders” with the note “good anecdotes for speeches.” But you’ll often find that the best anecdotes for speeches are the ones that come from out of left field. These tend to engage the audience more as they try to figure out where you are going. For example, in recent speeches and ghosted columns for an art-education association client, I’ve used these topics:

•The doctrine of the Cluetrain Manifesto.
•Bud Clark’s stunning mayoral win in Portland, Oregon in 1984.
•The fact that Minneapolis and St Paul aren’t entirely on opposite banks of the Mississippi.
How could such a hodge-podge of disparate and arcane leads make sense? Well, since the association was going through a major cultural transformation, my client’s first task was to get her membership’s attention. Then she needed to champion her cause – over a period of time – enlisting passionate support, and creating local champions to spread the gospel.

So the Cluetrain Manifesto, which advocates for digital media’s ability to overcome the stranglehold of corporate-speak, introduced the power of authenticity in an individual’s voice. The Minneapolis-St. Paul geographic trivia reference was the intro to a speech she gave in Minneapolis – and was used as an example of how preconceptions based on conventional wisdom can keep us from our goals. Bud Clark’s mayoral win, which I knew about from living in Portland shortly before that election, was a model for harnessing populist fervor to overcome great odds.

Dramatically different leads, but all working on the same wavelength to effectively empower the association’s members to take a more activist role.

2) Let inspiration come to you

Many years ago, when I was working as an advertising copywriter in New York City, I told my boss that the company should just pay me to walk back and forth between the subway station and the office because I got more good ideas during those 30 minutes – when I wasn’t really trying – than in the eight hours a day I spent at my desk. A few months ago, a client told me that she loved getting e-mails from me that start out “I was just out for a walk along the reservoir and I got to thinking…”

The best ideas are like that squiggly dust mote on your eye that you catch a fleeting glance of when you gaze up into a summer sky, but that darts out of sight when you try to look directly at it. The more you expose yourself to influences outside your industry, the more you open yourself up to cross-pollination, which is where creativity is most often born. For instance, I once found the conceptual construct for a speech on complexity vs. simplicity in the midst of watching the movie “Pollock.”

Watching Pollock’s chaotic jumble of splatter painting seemed to represent technological complexity in a very obvious way. Later, for stark contrast, I chose Mark Rothko’s tranquil works, with their blocks of muted color, to represent simplicity. The speech was by the CEO of a networking equipment company to industry analysts and angel investors and, after a brief scene-setting comment about the challenge of developing breakthrough innovation, he got into his true lead:

“So every now and again, I like to look at our challenge from an entirely different frame of reference. It keeps me fresh. And I’m willing to bet that it will make the next 25 minutes more intriguing than maybe you thought they were going to be. I figured I could get away with using Jackson Pollock as my keynote visual, because you’re all eclectic, multi-dimensional people, with diverse interests. If I tried this with an engineering audience, I’d probably lose the entire audience while they scribbled down all the architectural flaws in Pollock’s schematic.

Now, I’m a network guy. I look at Jackson Pollock, and I see networks. Specifically, I see today’s wide area networks – the complexity, the layers, the obstacles to flow. Of course, if you know anything about Jackson Pollock as a person, you know that he was a bona-fide tortured soul – which I suspect might eventually describe the engineers in charge of building broadband networks on [complex] SONET-based architecture.

Now, Mark Rothko – he’s my idea of an Ethernet Everywhere guy. There’s a fundamental simplicity here, and a sense of the infinite – infinite space, infinite potential.

3) Practice storytelling

This may seem like splitting hairs, but there really is a difference between storytelling and telling a story. Storytelling is about more than the relating of an anecdote; it’s about the creation of a distinctive, intriguingly listenable voice.

Let me give you an example. I had a technology client who wanted to build a keynote address around the message that his industry needed radical innovation in order to jump start recovery from the 2001 recession. The tepid, incremental, more-bang-for-your-buck product improvements that had dominated the recession period no longer would get the job done.

While the speech was still in incubator mode, I came across an article about building strategic competitive advantage that included a quotation about the noted computer scientist, Alan Kay, with the catchphrase, “Perspective is worth 80 points of IQ.”

This was the resulting presentation lead:

“In March 1975, a new office building was dedicated on Coyote Hill Road in Palo Alto, CA. Now, ordinarily, I wouldn’t much care about the dedication of an office building, and I can’t imagine you would either. Except that this building was the new home to a still-youthful organization called the Palo Alto Research Center, better known as Xerox PARC – and you probably all owe your jobs to what was invented in that building. I know I certainly wouldn’t be standing here before you if Bob Metcalfe and David Boggs hadn’t joined forces there in the mid-‘70s to develop Ethernet technology.

The creations that originated at Xerox PARC are mythic, and their creators are legendary. One of the most legendary of these is a man named Alan Kay, who is responsible for inventing object-oriented programming, the graphical user interface, and the very concept of a personal computer. Alan Kay has one of the most original minds in the technology field – perhaps one of the most original minds, period.

But I come here, not to praise Alan Kay – nor to bury him – but to quote him. Alan Kay once said that perspective was worth 80 points of IQ. In other words, it’s not how smart you are that matters, it’s your ability to see things from different points of view. That’s how innovation happens: by looking at things from a different angle and making connections that no one has made before.”

After my client finished, the conference organizer met him backstage and told him that, unlike the previous day, when a more prominent CEO had some 300 people leave his keynote before he finished because his approach was too “same-old, same-old,” not one person left before he finished.

A good speaker also knows how to leave his audience on a powerful upnote – but that’s a story for another time. So next presentation, look for a way to start that will take your audience by surprise (as long as you can make it relevant to your message). It may make you a little bit nervous – but then, the best communications solutions almost always do.

About the Author:

David Green is principal of UnCommon Knowledge, a speechwriting and strategic communications consultancy in the New York City area. He has written speeches for senior executives at Hewlett-Packard, Mercedes-Benz USA, Advanced Micro Devices, Johnson & Johnson and Extreme Networks, among others – all while being an involved father of 11-year-old twin boys. He’s not sure which activity is the more demanding. For more on David Green, visit www.uncommon-knowledge.com

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Check out David's website for his 3 simple rules

Hope for your Bad Speaking Habits

5 Simple Remedies to Overcome Your Speaking Voice Bad Habits

Our speaking voice should be a wonderful expressive instrument for communication. However, many of us have unconsciously fallen into bad habits either in conversation or public speaking. Others will inevitably associate the habits of our voice with habits of our mind and will use these habits to draw a conclusion as to our character. Very few of us ever make the time to improve the quality of our voice to make it pleasing and melodious. We do have the makings of a good voice and training will help make it better.

An excellent check on the qualities of your voice is to record it and play back. Even without this a little listening practice will make you conscious of your voice. Listen to your voice and honestly analyse to determine any bad habits.

The most common public speaking bad habits, their consequences and their simple remedies are listed below:

Bad Habit 1 - A strident high pitched voice. This has the hallmarks of a nervous person. It is hard on the listeners and many will find it difficult to listen to the point they lose interest.

Remedy 1- Take several deep breaths, this will help to calm the nerves and make it easier to control your voice.

Bad Habit 2 - A monotonous drone, speaking too slow or deliberately. This will ruin even the best prepared presentation by making it sound dull and may even put some people to sleep.

Remedy 2 - Pick up the tempo of your talk through thinking faster. You will naturally talk faster when your zest to do your best gets into gear.

Bad Habit 3 - Rapid delivery - this exhausts the audience and they will lose the context of your ideas.

Remedy 3 - Start off slow and adopt a conversational manner as talking to a friend. Make sure you enunciate clearly.

Bad Habit 4 - Too soft - who will know what you said?

Remedy 4 - Test the volume when you speak. Ask whether they can hear you at the back. Most audiences will appreciate you taking the time.

Remedy 5 - Additionally many voice faults can be remedied by reading "out loud." Read a variety of material; try everything from casual quotations to vigorous argument. The "out loud" reading must have feeling put into it. Reflect the feeling of the words in your voice. Experiment with words that reflect love and compare the sounds with words that convey hatred. Your voice will reflect the mood you have in mind and the audience will target in on it. Practice rounding out your syllables and opening you mouth wide to raise the resonance of your voice. This will help cure mumbling. However, be careful you don't end up with an affected accent that sounds worse than the original issue.

By understanding your own voice bad habits and tackling them you can replace these habits with good "listening" tones. It is useful to recall that Demosthenes a famed Greek orator from long ago struggled with stammering. It is recorded that he overcame this challenge by filling his mouth with pebbles and talking over the roar of crashing waves.

Author: Edward Hope Learn how to improve your speaking effectiveness in public or private. Claim your free preview of "The Art of Great Conversation" visit http://www.selfconfidentspeaking.com.

To your improvement!!!

Fran Watson

Top Ten Tips For Incredibly Successful Public Speaking

by David Meerman Scott of WebInkNow
I've been to something like one hundred conferences and corporate events in the past several years as I travel the world delivering keynotes and running seminars. I've seen a few great speeches. Sadly, most speeches I see are not very good. Some are downright terrible.

I've been collecting some observations on what makes a good presentation and also drawing from my own experience.

Most of us have an opportunity to speak, perhaps at your industry event, or your company's sales conference, or to a local club.

Make the most of your opportunity.

1. Take it seriously. If 200 people are in a room and you speak for a half hour, you are taking up 100 hours of people’s time. I see many speakers "wing it" and it makes me feel sorry for the audience. Don't look bad.

2. Know the conference organizer's goals. When I speak, I work with organizers to deliver three goals in equal proportion: Education, entertainment, and motivation. Since I am a paid speaker, I must deliver on all three so the conference organizer is happy they invited me. You need to know the goals for being on the podium too. Why were you invited? How would the organizer define success?

3. Tell stories. When someone says: "Let me tell you a story...," you're interested, right? When someone says: "Let me tell you about my company...," is your reaction the same? It doesn't sound like a way you want to spend your valuable time, does it? Stories are exciting. Most presentations are dry. Open with a story. Tell stories to illustrate your point. It's fascinating to see an audience sit up and pay attention when you start to tell a story on the stage.

4. Nobody cares about your products (except you). Yes, it's just like what I say about Web marketing. What people do care about are themselves and ways to solve their problems. A speech is not about you; it is about your audience. You must resist the urge to hype your products and services. Even if you’re asked to speak about your company or your products, make it about your customers or the problem you solve instead.

5. Prepare and practice. Run through your presentation as many times as required so that you are completely comfortable with the material. You should know the presentation so well that you could do it without PowerPoint and without notes.

6. Don't use PowerPoint as a TelePrompTer. Slides are great for showing images, charts, and the like. Consider showing a short video. But definitely don't use slides to show bulleted lists of text. Yawn! Way too many people just read off their slides. Don't! PowerPoint is not a speaker's crutch; it is a way to illustrate your spoken point. By the way, some of the best speakers don't use slides at all.

7. Arrive early. There is nothing worse than a presenter fumbling with technology on a stage. Everyone becomes uncomfortable and it is nearly impossible to make up that bad first impression. You should plan to arrive at the venue with plenty of time to spare and go to the room at least one hour prior to when you go on. You may need to arrive much earlier if there are sessions before yours because you will want to set up and test your equipment and stand on the stage to get a feel of the room. Use the microphone to hear your voice. Get as comfortable as possible with the venue before people arrive (or when they are on a break). The conference organizer and the A/V people will love you for arriving early! And when you are comfortable with logistics, you will deliver a better speech.

8. Bring an electronic copy of your presentation. I always carry my presentation on a memory stick and wear it around my neck from the moment I step out of my house until after I have presented. I wear it on the plane and in the hotel. I wear it out to dinner. You never know what may happen to your computer (I spilled water on my computer in Brussels once and fried it), so having that backup is comforting.

9. Don't go long. When you build a speech and deliver it for the first time, it almost always runs long. Don't go over time! It's okay to end short because you can take a few questions, but running long makes the entire event schedule get out of whack. Worse, they may pull you off the stage, which looks awful.

10. Be aware of body language. My friend Nick Morgan, author of Trust Me: Four Steps to Authenticity and Charisma says: "When words and body language are in conflict, body language wins every time." If you are nervous, it shows. If you don't believe what you're saying, it shows. If you aren't having fun, it shows. And your audience will always react to your body language instead of your words.


Hope you enjoyed this

Fran
www.franwatson.ca

P.S. Check out David's article Why Public Speaking is Like Billiards

You Too Can Be A Public Speaker

I have recently revamped my webpage and will shortly have a lot more information. I am really excited about this. I was on a teleconference call with Kevin Wilke of Nitro Blueprint last night and he critiqued my site......wow, was I excited about that. I made some adjustments based on his comments and much more are to come.

Here are the links, please keep checking as it will be changing with many offers of interest to anyone who wants to know more about public speaking.
http://www.franwatson.ca/public_speaker.html
http://www.franwatson.ca/publicspeaking.html

If you haven't already done so, you can sign up for my public speaking ezine and get a free copy of 800 Speech Topics.

To your speaking success

Fran
www.franwatson.ca

P.S. Those urls again: http://www.franwatson.ca/public_speaker.html
http://www.franwatson.ca/publicspeaking.html

Success

If you wait for everything to be perfect according to your preconceived plans, then you may well wait forever. If you go out and work with the current of life, you may find that success comes from building upon small things.

-- Deng Ming-Dao, Writer

There are powers inside of you which, if you could discover and use, would make of you everythng you ever dreamed or imagined you could become.

-- Orison Sweet Marden (1850 - 1924), Founder of Success magazine

Talent is never enough. With a few exceptions, the best players are the hardest workers.

-- Earvin "Magic" Johnson, Professional basketball player

Words to live by, and perhaps words that may inspire you for a speech in the future.

Live well, live wisely, listen carefully, speak positively and have a wonderful day.

Fran Watson
www.franwatson.ca
www.franwatson.ca/ToastmastersRenfrew.html
www.franwatson.ca/ToastmastersPembroke.html

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Does Fear Control You?

Why didn’t I send a resume to that job. I had most of the qualifications and the person they hired doesn’t have anywhere near the skills that I have….

Why didn’t I enter that contest last year. I thought about it lots, I could have entered, but I didn’t. Why didn’t I?

Why didn’t I go and talk to that new person at the office. She seemed nice enough, but I just let everyone else say hi. What’s wrong with me?

Is your life full of “Why didn’t Is?” If it is, then you too are a victim of………….FEAR!

Fear causes us to do strange things. It may cause us to hide in our houses and not come out for days or weeks. It can cause us to give up on friendships because we think that the person might not like us. It can cause us to see rejection when someone doesn’t say good morning to us when they come into the office.

That demon FEAR can really wreck our lives!

So what can we do about it?

There are many things we can do. Those of us who entered the door of Toastmasters, quivering and quaking in our boots learned that taking that first step was the absolute hardest, but once that step was taken the rest became easier. And that is the secret to beating that FEAR demon.

The first thing we have to do is to look carefully at what our fear really is. Is it a fear of rejection? A fear of looking foolish? A fear of being judged? A fear of failing? Whatever it is, the next step is to ask yourself, what’s the worst thing that could happen? If I’m rejected, will my world stop, will I cease to exist? No, my life will go on and I will find someone who won’t reject me.

What about looking foolish? Well, let yourself do something really foolish, put on a clown suit, encourage people to laugh at you. And as far as being judged, what does it really matter what the neighbours think? You need to be happy about what you are doing for you, not for the neighbours.

Fear of failure prevents many of us from pursuing our dreams. We ask ourselves… “what if….” Well, what if you do fail? What then? You just try another way. When you were a toddler and you fell down, you didn’t think it was the end of the world, you simply got up and took another step, reaching for your goal.

Fear of rejection has controlled my life in many ways, and I have limited myself, not tried when I expected negative results. The words I heard as a young child come back to haunt me time after time and I have to overcome the feeling and go forward.

I wrote a poem for a friend back in 1987, but it is a poem that I wrote for myself as well and I return to it time after time for the inspiration to carry on when I feel like giving up, when FEAR has me in its grasp and I would like to share it with you in closing. It is entitled RISK.

RISK

Do not be afraid to shine.
This world needs what you have to give.
Open up the areas of your being;
expose them to yourself - to others.
You are valuable.
You are unique.
You have much to give.
Do not be afraid to give it.

As we risk ourselves, we grow.
Each new experience is a risk:
we can try, and maybe fail,
and as a result, grow -
or hold back and stagnate.

You have the potential
to be anything you want to be!
You are free to choose.
You are limited only by your fears.
Let your dreams take over,
fly with the eagles,
soar into life,
the world is waiting for you!

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Fly high, don't let fear drag you down!!

Fran
www.franwatson.ca

10 Ways To Empower Your Communications

There is so much more to know about conversation that anyone, could ever realize. You can watch talk shows; listen to radio programs; attend clubs dedicated to public speaking such as Toastmasters; and have ordinary everyday conversations, but certain rules still apply when it comes to speaking. Even though it's your mouth that's doing the work, your brain needs to be put in gear before you speak. It needs to work twice as hard to effectively churn out the information you know. So what better way to start learning to be an effective communicator than to get to know the very person closest to you: yourself.

1. What you know.
Education is all about learning the basics, but to be an effective speaker is to practice what you've learned. At Toastmasters we learn that we all have our limitations, but that doesn't mean we can't learn to keep up and share what we know.

2. Listening.
It's just as important as asking questions. As we listen to others, we learn good ways to communicate and ways that we don’t want to communicate. Also, sometimes listening to the sound of our own voice can help us to be a little more confident with ourselves and to say the things we believe in with conviction.

3. Humility
We all make mistakes, and sometimes we tend to slur our words, stutter, and maybe even mispronounce certain words even though we know what they mean. So in a group, don't be afraid to ask if you're saying the word correctly. Sometimes you can make a joke out of your mistake. You may make everyone laugh.

4. Eye Contact
Eye contact is very important when you are communicating with someone, whether as an individual in a conversation or speaking to a group. It makes a connection between you and the people you are talking to.

5. Kidding around
A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift the tension, or worse boredom, when making your speech. You'll get the attention of the majority of the crowd. If you use personal stories, they'll feel that you're approachable and as human as they are.

6. Group Interaction
Interaction is all about mingling with other people. You'll find that you will get a lot of ideas, and you will get to know more about the people in your group.

7. Me, Myself, and I
Admit it, there are times you sing to yourself in the shower. I know I do! Listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice your speech in front of a mirror can help you identify places where pauses would work and correct the stress areas of your pitch.

8. With a smile
A smile says it all much like eye contact. When you face your audience with a smile, you will usually get a smile back. You draw them in and you begin to relax so that you can better express what you want to say.

9. A Role Model
There must be at least one or two people in your life you have listened to when they're at a public gathering or maybe at church. Take a mental note of how they emphasize what they say. This can help you once you take center stage.

10. Preparation
Some people like to write things down on index cards, some memorize their speeches, while other resort to looking at their notes written on the palm of their hand (not for clammy hands, please). Practice enough to be comfortable with what you know.

Three Easy Steps To Be Good In Public Speaking

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Throughout the history of human civilization, people have been expressing their confidence and strength, not only by force, but also by the noble art of public speaking. The orators of ancient Greece were highly respected and valued in the community. Likewise, today’s world leaders are admired and esteemed when they have the power to address the public with poise and conviction.

Such a high regard for public speaking makes the average person cringe at the idea of talking in front of an audience no matter how big or small the size. Whether giving a toast at a wedding or delivering a speech to a large assembly, most people make a big deal about public speaking and try to avoid it as much as possible. But public speaking should not cause such a big fuss. Challenging as it may be, public speaking can be done with a few simple guidelines.

Before Making The Speech: Preparation

Like any other endeavor, public speaking requires careful preparation to be successful. Many people would dream of having those “inspired” spontaneous speeches seen in movies; however, such scenes rarely happen in real life. To have at least a decent speech, one should plan well. Even the world’s most famous leaders prepare for public addresses, and most even have teams to work on those plans.

Well, even if one does not have a speech preparation committee one can prepare for public speaking. First, one should know for what the occasion the speech is for. The Gettysburg address would definitely not be appropriate for a wedding; thus, a speech has to fit the event it will be delivered to. Second, one should examine the audience who will witness the speech. An assembly of academics would not take a perky speaker seriously; one should choose a suitable public speaking style based on the audience. Third, one should ponder what is being expected in the speech. A farmer’s association would usually not be interested on a speech about the intricacies of beadwork; one should carefully study the subject matter to be tackled in public speaking.

Making The Speech: Writing

Again, dazzling spontaneous speeches rarely happen in real life. Most good speeches have been written before their delivery. While most noted public figures have speech-writing committees, one can make a good speech even without the help of a team of ghostwriters.

When writing for public speaking, one should carefully organize the contents of the speech. It usually pays well to begin with a very strong introduction. It is important to catch the audience’s attention early to prevent them from being bored easily. Next, the body should be purposeful. The contents of the speech should relate well and support each other. It is not good to digress too much; though at times some deviations help attract attention when boredom arises. Lastly, one should make a conclusion that sticks to the mind. No matter how stirring a speech is, it is useless if the people forget it the instant they leave the gathering. Conclusions should give a concise but memorable recap of the body.

The Actual Public Speaking: Delivery

A written speech would not be consummated without the actual public speaking itself. This is the part most people are afraid of; but when proper planning and writing is done well, the delivery should follow easily.

One must decide whether to speak from memory or to use notes. Beginners should benefit from a script or a guide, when one becomes more comfortable speaking in public, one can start relying from memory. Reading directly from a script can be quite boring for the audience; thus, it is important to keep constant contact with them. Speaking from memory is quite impressive, but it can be difficult to avoid missing some parts of the speech. Speaking with notes can be a good compromise so long as one is able to expound on the points well. The choice of how to deliver the speech depends entirely on the speaker; thus, it is important for one to weigh the options carefully.

Learning More About Public Speaking

Several resources could help one do well in public speaking. Several books and articles about the topic have been published and they can well be accessed through the library or the bookstore. Many companies offer public speaking training, and such services provide in-depth courses that could help one speak well in public. There are also several articles and courses available through the internet, some of them are even posted for free.

Public speaking is challenging, but can be a very worthwhile skill. With the guide provided above, one should no longer be afraid to speak in public.

Happy Speaking
Fran

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Self-Consciousness in Public Speaking

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Self Consciousness in Public Speaking

“There is a strange sensation often experienced in the presence of an audience. It may proceed from the gaze of the many eyes that turn upon the speaker, especially if he permits himself to steadily return that gaze. Most speakers have been conscious of this in a nameless thrill, a real something, pervading the atmosphere, tangible, evanescent, indescribable. All writers have borne testimony to the power of a speaker's eye in impressing an audience. This influence which we are now considering is the reverse of that picture—the power their eyes may exert upon him, especially before he begins to speak: after the inward fires of oratory are fanned into flame the eyes of the audience lose all terror.”—WILLIAM PITTENGER, Extempore Speech.

Students of public speaking continually ask, "How can I overcome self-consciousness and the fear that paralyzes me before an audience?"

Practise, practise, PRACTISE!

Practise in speaking before an audience will tend to remove all fear of audiences, just as practise in swimming will lead to confidence and facility in the water. You must learn to speak by speaking.

Do not be disheartened if at first you suffer from stage-fright. For one reason or another, some master-speakers never entirely overcome stage-fright, but it will pay you to spare no pains to conquer it. Daniel Webster failed in his first appearance and had to take his seat without finishing his speech because he was nervous. Gladstone was often troubled with self-consciousness in the beginning of an address. Beecher was always perturbed before talking in public.

Be Absorbed by Your Subject
If you feel deeply about your subject you will be able to think of little else. Concentration is a process of distraction from less important matters. It is too late to think about the cut of your coat when once you are upon the platform, so centre your interest on what you are about to say—fill your mind with your speech-material and, like the infilling water in the glass, it will drive out your unsubstantial fears.

Self-consciousness is undue consciousness of self, and, for the purpose of delivery, self is secondary to your subject, not only in the opinion of the audience, but, if you are wise, in your own. To hold any other view is to regard yourself as an exhibit instead of as a messenger with a message worth delivering.

If the theater caught fire you could rush to the stage and shout directions to the audience without any self-consciousness, for the importance of what you were saying would drive all fear-thoughts out of your mind.

Far worse than self-consciousness through fear of doing poorly is self-consciousness through assumption of doing well. The first sign of greatness is when a man does not attempt to look and act great. Before you can call yourself a man at all, Kipling assures us, you must "not look too good nor talk too wise."

Nothing advertises itself so thoroughly as conceit. One may be so full of self as to be empty. Voltaire said, "We must conceal self-love." But that can not be done. You know this to be true, for you have recognized overweening self-love in others. If you have it, others are seeing it in you. There are things in this world bigger than self, and in working for them self will be forgotten, or—what is better—remembered only so as to help us win toward higher things.

To increased self-confidence!

Fran Watson

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P.S. If you have to speak at a funeral, Click Here!

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Mark Victor Hansen Special

Check out these special offers:

Mark Victor Hansen Special Offer! America's Ambassador of Possibility Whether you want to write or promote a book, create a speaking career, market a product or a business, or create wealth in general - here is an offer you won't want to miss. Limited Time Only - For product info visit... http://mvh.yoursuccessstore.com

Fran

Insight

Happy New Year

"No, this is not an autoresponder message that is out of
sync. And I haven't gone off my rocker.

It's my way of reassuring you that regardless of what day it
is on the calendar, you can start a New Year today!

Think about it. Traditionally we all get excited about
setting goals on January 1. We are all revved up about
Taking Action - for about 2 weeks. Then we start to beat
ourselves up about why we haven't stuck with the plan - and
by March 1, we're tired and discouraged and think "oh well,
another year down the drain."

It doesn't have to be that way!

You can start a New Year ANY day of the year. For example,

- A New School Year starts the day after labor day.

- A new fiscal year starts for businesses on whichever day
they choose to start it.

- The Chinese new year starts on a different date every
year.

So decide TODAY that you're going to start a new year TODAY.

1. What goals do you have?

2. What actions do you need to take to achieve them?

Take a few minutes to write these down. You already know
what they are because you've set New Years Goals before. But
now you get a "bonus" new start for the year - right here in
the middle of September!"

This is from an email I received today. First it made me laugh a bit and then it made me really think about my goals for this year and how I'm doing on them. The year is 3/4 complete and I should have 3/4 of my goal accomplished. I'm sorry to say that I don't and now I know I will have to get busy and work a little harder!

How about you? How are you doing on the goals you set for youself this year? Are you halfway there, or still at the starting block?

Well, there is no time like the present to get back on track. Take another look at your goals and see what it is that stopped you from achieving them. Were they too large? If so, break your goals into little steps. One step per week for the balance of the year. You will be surprised at how much you can achieve.

Take some time each evening to write down your goals for the next day, so that when you wake up your mind will already have begun processing the steps to accomplish those goals.

As I said above.....Happy New Year!

Fran Watson
P.S. sign up for my free ezine here: speakersinfo@getresponse.com

http://www.quickinfo247.com/7910757/EE

Benchmarks For Success

Welcome to this Bonus Lesson for the 'Keys to Success' e-Course.

For over 25 years, I've studied and read, watched and coached highly successful people, from self-made millionaires to professional golfers, to great ministers, parents and entrepreneurs. I've read over 2000 books in psychology, self-help, business, investing, management, leadership and success strategies. I've worked with Fortune 100 companies and I've watched sole proprietors both succeed and fail, and from all of that, I've tried to summarize the 6 Keys that I believe are the are critical, essential elements for long-term success in life.

You've read the Six Keys. You've had time to ponder them. I hope you've taken notes, and perhaps printed and re-read the lessons several times. I hope you've found some points you doubt or disagree with, or some items that in your specific situation might have to be modified to 'fit' just right. But I hope you've also seen the essential truth in each of the points. Let's re-cap them:

You will not achieve your dreams or be successful in life if you fail to take care of yourself. Insist on time for rest, time for fitness, time to review your goals, time to develop your plans and develop better strategies.

Beyond taking care of your body, mind and soul, you will need tools and equipment, skills and resources to achieve your dreams. You will need quiet in which to concentrate. You will need a 'problem free zone' where you can be productive, creative and effective. Highly successful people invest in a Personal Eco-System that lets them function at their best.

Dream big dreams, complete in every detail and rich in sensory cues. High achievers imagine the future exactly the way they want it, then develop plans and strategies to create the life they envision. Set goals. Develop plans. Write them down and review them daily. Once you have a goal and a strategy, pursue it with all your heart, mind, strength and energy. Use your imagination to create the life you want!

Ask better questions. Asking better, more powerful and more interesting questions will transform the quality of your life. Ask yourself, 'How can I?' Ask yourself, 'Who can teach me?' Ask yourself, 'What are my most important values, priorities and goals, and how can I reach them?' Focus on great questions and let the answers pull your forward.

Whatever you desire to achieve, start it today. Take some action in the direction you want to go. Then take another, and another. Action has power and decisiveness in it. Action gives us enthusiasm, builds our confidence and encourages us to go further. Success requires and is based on action. Do it.

Create a lifestyle based on repeated daily habits that reflect your values and your ideals. Living well doesn't cost; it pays! Living well is simple, orderly, and powerful. When you have a strong, reliable foundation of repeated daily habits you achieve more, with less effort, less stress and far less confusion. Remember the KISS formula: Keep It Simple and Stress-free.

And here is your bonus item: In every area of your life, develop benchmarks that let you know you are on the right track. Remember, 'what gets measured, gets done.' Track and benchmark your savings, your fitness, your sales, the time you spend with loved ones, or anything else that is critical to your success. Schedule a date with your spouse. Write it on the calendar, and better yet, put a date on the calendar each week for the next 12 months, then keep your promises!

Create simple charts or graphs to monitor your weight and put them on the wall where the whole family can see your progress and encourage you. Monitor anything and everything that you want to achieve. Even seemingly intangible things like 'peace of mind' can be tracked if you are creative. Simply rate your 'peace of mind' on a scale once a day and write it down. Anything that is important to your success deserves to be benchmarked, tracked and recorded.

Highly successful people have always known this. High achievers monitor their finances. The best sales people record the number of calls them make. Athletes measure their times, their distances and their Earned Run Averages. The numbers may not tell you everything about the quality of your life, but they are an essential tool for moving in the direction you want to go.

And finally, have and work with a mentor. As a professional coach, it's tempting to say, 'hire a coach', but that's not always necessary. Sometimes, a professional coach is the answer, and in that case, the sooner you make the commitment, invest the time and money and energy and get started, the faster you'll achieve your goals. But, whether you hire a professional or not, have and use a coach!

Work with someone who has already achieved what you want to achieve. Ask them to teach you, and schedule regular phone calls or have lunch with them once a week. If you cannot find an expert in your field, then read books, listen to tapes, go to seminars, take classes. Hundreds of people have said my 'Road to Riches' teleclass has been the key to achieving their financial goals. Classes work! Books help! Do whatever it takes to learn from the masters. You cannot afford to spend your life re-inventing the wheel. What others have achieved, you can achieve. But be smart and let them teach you.

Thank you for investing in this series. The cost was 'free' you say? No. I didn't charge you any money for it, but if you've taken it seriously, read and pondered these truths and taken action, you've invested something far more valuable than mere money. You invested your time.

Money is abundant. It can be created. It can be multiplied, replaced or borrowed, and it can grow. As economists say, money is 'elastic'. Your time is not. Time, once invested, is gone forever. Thank you for investing your time, and if you use these lessons well, I believe you'll find your investment will repay you thousands of times over.

Blessings to you, and best wishes for your continued and lasting success!


Phil

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Philip E. Humbert, PhD
'Helping You Have Your BEST Year Ever!'
Email: Coach@philiphumbert.com
Web: http://www.philiphumbert.com


(c) Copyright, 2002 by The Philip E. Humbert Group, Inc
All Rights Reserved. You are encouraged to forward or publish
this article in it's entirety, including by-line, contact info and notices
in the margin, but you may not use excerpts or make any changes
without specific written permission from the author and copyright owner.

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Here's to benchmarks!

Fran Watson

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