Showing posts with label personal growth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal growth. Show all posts

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Getting Along With Others



How To Get Along With People

1.      Keep skid chains on your tongue; always say less than you think.  Cultivate a low, persuasive voice.  How you say it often counts more than what you say.
2.      Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully, no matter what it costs.
3.      Never let an opportunity pass to say a kind and encouraging word to or about somebody.  Praise good work, regardless of who did it.  If criticism is needed criticize helpfully, never spitefully.
4.      Be interested in others; their pursuits, their work, their homes and families.  Make merry with those who rejoice; with those who weep, mourn.  Let everyone you meet, however humble, feel that you regard him or her as a person of importance.
5.      Be cheerful.  Don’t burden or depress those around you by dwelling on your minor aches and pains and small disappointments.  Remember, everyone is carrying some kind of a load.
6.      Keep an open mind.  Discuss but don’t argue.  It is a mark of a superior mind to be able to disagree without being disagreeable.
7.      Let your virtues, if you have any, speak for themselves.  Refuse to talk of another’s vices.  Discourage gossip.  It is a waste of valuable time and can be extremely destructive.
8.      Be careful of another’s feelings.  Wit and humour at the other person’s expense are rarely worth it and may hurt when least expected.
9.      Pay no attention to ill-natured remarks about you.  Remember, the person who carried the message may not be the most accurate reporter in the world.  Simply live so that nobody will believe them.  Disordered nerves and bad digestion are a common cause of back-biting.
10.  Don’t be too anxious about the credit due you.  Do your best and be patient.  Forget about yourself and let others “remember”.  Success is much sweeter that way.

To your communication success


P.S.  For some free public speaking tips, Click here 

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Get a free Mini ecourse in Public Speaking

Many of us are interested in mastering the art of being and becoming a master of public speaking or speaking in public at a variety of formal and social events. This interest is increasing in recent years and people hone, harness and refine their skills. Engaging, shaping and influencing audiences all around is what is at stake. Sounding confident, convincing and speaking with energized speech is paramount, regardless of the context. For business, social and public life, it is a core skill and almost an entry-level pre-requisite these days to be deemed 'successful'.

If you have an interest in improving your public speaking skills, then this is the ultimate practical guide for you. Simply send an email to receive a FREE, five-part mini e-course, which is taken straight from this recently released ebook. Enjoy a preliminary taste of things you will find in this comprehensive public speaking reference guide!

Yours to improved speaking success

Fran Watson

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Toastmasters - Your Road To Better Public Speaking

When you join toastmasters

Over the next few weeks I will be sharing with you 100 reasons to join Toastmasters. You may have heard the name before. You may have read some articles in the paper. You may have head people talk about it. But you are still not sure if Toastmasters is for you. Perhaps after you read these articles you will decide that it is indeed for you and for many of your friends. If so, please contact one of the numbers at the end of the article for more information.

To start out, let’s look at some of the growth you will experience with Toastmasters.
You will develop:
1. Public speaking skills
2. Presentation skills
3. Communication skills
4. Listening skills
5. Leadership skills
6. Evaluation techniques
7. Vocal variety
8. Effective non-verbal communication (body language)
9. Research techniques

If you are in customer service in any capacity, you can benefit from learning to develop your public speaking skills. If you are an employer, you might want to encourage your staff to attend weekly meetings. The Competent Communicator Manual gives you the opportunity to learn and practice some of the following: Organize Your Speech, Get to the Point (what do you want to achieve?), and How to Say It (Be specific, use vivid words, incorporate rhetorical devices, watch for jargon, etc.).

Have you ever been called upon at the last minute to give a presentation or a talk on something you’ve been working on, or something for a new client? Well, Toastmasters can help you think on your feet and be well organized so that this will become easy for you.

Communication involves more than just talking. It also involves shutting up (aka listening). Communication is a two way conversation. Many people say, “I have no problem talking”, and those around them are well aware of that. These people may have a problem letting other people talk. How many times have you been at a meeting where the person is supposed to speak only for 5 minutes and 15 minutes later they are still at it? At Toastmasters you learn how to craft a speech to fit within a specified time frame.

Listening skills are an important part of communication. It is important to listen well enough so that you really “hear” what the other person is saying. At our weekly meetings the Quizmaster tests the listening skills of the group by asking questions about things that went on during the meeting.

Leadership skills – are developed as members take on roles such as Toastmaster, Table Topics Master, Timer, Quizmaster, General Evaluator and others. Each person takes control of the lectern for their role and you have a chance to earn the Competent Leader award as you work through various roles such as: Speaker, Speech Evaluator, Timer, Grammarian, Ah Counter, Toastmaster, Mentoring a New or Existing Member, etc.

It is important to learn how to correctly evaluate someone so that they learn about the things they need to improve while being recognized for the things that they already do well. If all they hear is criticism, they don’t feel very good about themselves. One of the biggest challenges of a leader is to be able to give feedback to others on their performance. Feedback involves praising others to reinforce their outstanding performance and criticizing others to improve their performance. Often leaders are uncomfortable giving feedback. If team members are to perform to their potential, they need to know what they are doing well, what they are not doing well, and how they can improve. If you want to improve your team’s performance, you must be able to comfortably offer feedback to team members. Toastmasters teaches the “sandwich technique” for evaluations. Start with something positive, insert the message about things that could be improved and end with a positive comment. Come to a meeting and find out more.

Keep your conversations lively and worth listening to. Have you ever listened to a boring lecture where the person just drones on and on with no variety or depth to their voice? It’s enough to put you to sleep. Speech #6 will help you learn how to effectively use your voice for the highs and lows to keep people’s attention, (be expressive, use pauses for effectiveness, control your volume, pitch, rate and quality).

Your body often speaks louder than your actual words and people “read” what you are saying by the way you say it. Learn how to use gestures and eye contact to keep the audience watching and listening. Speech #5 - Your Body Speaks gives tips on how to use stance and movement, gestures, facial expression and eye contact naturally to enhance your communication.

Research techniques are developed as you prepare for your roles. If you are providing the word of the week, you will research the word to find out where it came from and what it means. If you are giving the Toast, you may want to look up more information on the weekly theme. If you are giving an Educational Tip, you will want to research your topic and prepare. Speech #7 from the Competent Communicator Manual gives you tips and ideas on how to research your topic to get the facts you need to support your message.

I hope this article has intrigued you and that you will consider joining us. Toastmasters is an international non-profit club run by volunteers to improve our public speaking ability by speaking regularly in a supportive environment with a solid program and helpful feedback.

Anyone over 18 who is interested in public speaking can join. Clubs have a great mix of experienced and beginning speakers, young and old. We believe that a diverse club offers the best learning opportunities.

Fran Watson
Proud Member of Pembroke & Renfrew Toastmaster Clubs

www.toastmastersdistrict61.org


For more information, you can go to www.toastmasters.org

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Procrastination Prevents Public Speaking?

Do you believe that you have to wait until things calm down a bit before you get your act together?

Do you keep telling yourself that tomorrow you will get at that chore you’ve been putting off, that course you’ve been wanting to take, that phone call you’ve been going to make, take some time to look after yourself, go to the spa, take a hot bath, etc. etc.?

Well then, you are normal. Most of us are waiting until tomorrow, but the truth is, as Sarah Ban Breathnach says, “life never calms down long enough for us to wait until tomorrow to start living the lives we deserve. Life is always movement, always change, always unforeseen circumstances.”

So, what are our options? How do we begin working on this life of ours to make it more satisfying? Sarah says “We can accept, bless, give thanks, and get going. “ Wow, what a concept. Accept things as they are. Give thanks for our circumstances and then just get on with things.

As I read the thought for January 25th from Sarah Ban Brethnach’s Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy, I was struck by how many things I have let slide. How many times procrastination has crept in and how many opportunities this has cost me. How many times have you had a thought, “I should call so and so”, but then let it slide only to find out later that something happened to that person, they moved away, or they died and that opportunity will never come again. How many friendships have you let slide? How many times have you turned down the chance to do something just for yourself – taking a nice long bath for instance. I can hear you now - “Oh, I couldn’t do that, there is laundry to do, dishes to be done, the house to clean, etc., etc., etc.” Well, those things will always be there. It’s time to stop making excuses. You will NEVER FIND THE TIME to do anything. You need to MAKE THE TIME to do what it is you want to do.

Sarah encouraged me to “Call a friend for lunch, begin to read or even write that novel, organize your papers, try a new recipe for dinner, smile at everyone you meet, sit and dream before a blazing fire, pick up your needlepoint again, act as if you’re grateful to be alive, scatter joy.” Simple things to get us started on LIVING out life instead of letting it pass us by.

Now it is your turn. Think for a moment about one thing that you can do that will bring you genuine pleasure…and then do it.

Think about one thing that will move your business forward…and then do it.

Think about one thing that will improve your relationship (if you are in one)….and then do it.

Simple things, and easy to do…IF we just go ahead and do them.

What will you do today????

Fran Watson

P.S. Think about one thing that you can do and then speak about!!

www.franwatson.ca/SFIsplash.html

Thursday, September 24, 2009

A Speaker's Greatest Tool

Your greatest tool as a speaker is your voice. Every time you address an audience your mind, your body and your voice act as partners in the task of getting your message across to your listeners. When you speak, your voice is the primary link between you and your listeners – it’s the medium of your message.

The importance of having an effective voice isn’t restricted to public speaking. A good, controlled voice is an asset in every contact with others. Your voice mirrors your personality with a language all its own – a language that people recognize and respond to immediately. A natural voice that projects an image of cordiality, cultivation and authority is a significant tool for personal success. It can help in gaining promotions, making sales, winning the respect of others and improving your social opportunities, as well as in speaking effectively to audiences.

When you speak, your voice reflects your psychological and emotional state of mind. You can’t hope to persuade or influence others – or even get them to listen in a positive way – if your tones are harsh, scolding and unfriendly. Such a voice can repel even when the speaker wishes to attract. The quality of friendliness is a prime requisite for a good speaking voice. It’s largely a matter of habit, as is the unfriendly tone.

If you’ve fallen into the habit of scolding, snarling and speaking in an unpleasant tone, and the effect you seek is to produce the genial, cheerful and gracious tones that characterize a good speaking voice, you may need to do more than simply develop your voice. You may have to reassess your way of looking at yourself, other people and events in general.

But if you’re like most people, the chances are excellent that you can develop the sort of voice that wins favourable attention and reflects the qualities you wish to project. To do so, you must strive to strip away any bad speech habits that may have accumulated over the years. And you must work to build the type of positive habits that will enhance your speaking voice.

Your voice and your face are your “public relations” agents. More than any other factors, they serve to establish an image of you in the minds of others. Your face, body and speech are the interpreters of your mind. They reveal your character – the real you – as nothing else can.

A smile – whether it starts in your face, your disposition or your voice – reacts on the other elements and tends to induce a positive, constructive complex which makes your attitude and appearance attractive and pleasing.

Your best voice can help bring out your best self. Nature has given you a priceless gift in your voice. It is the means by which you can communicate with others – the medium of your message. It also makes possible understanding and camaraderie. By your voice and your words, your influence is made upon those whom your life may touch.

Yours for better speaking

Fran

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Working on a New Ebook

Hi

I am working on a new e-book on public speaking. If you want to be one of the first to see it and get a free copy just for a short testimonial, contact me. I have a few special surprises up my sleeve for my subscribers.

Fran Watson
P.S. Looking forward to sharing some information with you.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Success

If you wait for everything to be perfect according to your preconceived plans, then you may well wait forever. If you go out and work with the current of life, you may find that success comes from building upon small things.

-- Deng Ming-Dao, Writer

There are powers inside of you which, if you could discover and use, would make of you everythng you ever dreamed or imagined you could become.

-- Orison Sweet Marden (1850 - 1924), Founder of Success magazine

Talent is never enough. With a few exceptions, the best players are the hardest workers.

-- Earvin "Magic" Johnson, Professional basketball player

Words to live by, and perhaps words that may inspire you for a speech in the future.

Live well, live wisely, listen carefully, speak positively and have a wonderful day.

Fran Watson
www.franwatson.ca
www.franwatson.ca/ToastmastersRenfrew.html
www.franwatson.ca/ToastmastersPembroke.html

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Sunday, January 11, 2009

Self-Consciousness in Public Speaking

Presentation Secrets Click Here!
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Self Consciousness in Public Speaking

“There is a strange sensation often experienced in the presence of an audience. It may proceed from the gaze of the many eyes that turn upon the speaker, especially if he permits himself to steadily return that gaze. Most speakers have been conscious of this in a nameless thrill, a real something, pervading the atmosphere, tangible, evanescent, indescribable. All writers have borne testimony to the power of a speaker's eye in impressing an audience. This influence which we are now considering is the reverse of that picture—the power their eyes may exert upon him, especially before he begins to speak: after the inward fires of oratory are fanned into flame the eyes of the audience lose all terror.”—WILLIAM PITTENGER, Extempore Speech.

Students of public speaking continually ask, "How can I overcome self-consciousness and the fear that paralyzes me before an audience?"

Practise, practise, PRACTISE!

Practise in speaking before an audience will tend to remove all fear of audiences, just as practise in swimming will lead to confidence and facility in the water. You must learn to speak by speaking.

Do not be disheartened if at first you suffer from stage-fright. For one reason or another, some master-speakers never entirely overcome stage-fright, but it will pay you to spare no pains to conquer it. Daniel Webster failed in his first appearance and had to take his seat without finishing his speech because he was nervous. Gladstone was often troubled with self-consciousness in the beginning of an address. Beecher was always perturbed before talking in public.

Be Absorbed by Your Subject
If you feel deeply about your subject you will be able to think of little else. Concentration is a process of distraction from less important matters. It is too late to think about the cut of your coat when once you are upon the platform, so centre your interest on what you are about to say—fill your mind with your speech-material and, like the infilling water in the glass, it will drive out your unsubstantial fears.

Self-consciousness is undue consciousness of self, and, for the purpose of delivery, self is secondary to your subject, not only in the opinion of the audience, but, if you are wise, in your own. To hold any other view is to regard yourself as an exhibit instead of as a messenger with a message worth delivering.

If the theater caught fire you could rush to the stage and shout directions to the audience without any self-consciousness, for the importance of what you were saying would drive all fear-thoughts out of your mind.

Far worse than self-consciousness through fear of doing poorly is self-consciousness through assumption of doing well. The first sign of greatness is when a man does not attempt to look and act great. Before you can call yourself a man at all, Kipling assures us, you must "not look too good nor talk too wise."

Nothing advertises itself so thoroughly as conceit. One may be so full of self as to be empty. Voltaire said, "We must conceal self-love." But that can not be done. You know this to be true, for you have recognized overweening self-love in others. If you have it, others are seeing it in you. There are things in this world bigger than self, and in working for them self will be forgotten, or—what is better—remembered only so as to help us win toward higher things.

To increased self-confidence!

Fran Watson

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P.S. If you have to speak at a funeral, Click Here!

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Friday, September 5, 2008

Happy New Year

"No, this is not an autoresponder message that is out of
sync. And I haven't gone off my rocker.

It's my way of reassuring you that regardless of what day it
is on the calendar, you can start a New Year today!

Think about it. Traditionally we all get excited about
setting goals on January 1. We are all revved up about
Taking Action - for about 2 weeks. Then we start to beat
ourselves up about why we haven't stuck with the plan - and
by March 1, we're tired and discouraged and think "oh well,
another year down the drain."

It doesn't have to be that way!

You can start a New Year ANY day of the year. For example,

- A New School Year starts the day after labor day.

- A new fiscal year starts for businesses on whichever day
they choose to start it.

- The Chinese new year starts on a different date every
year.

So decide TODAY that you're going to start a new year TODAY.

1. What goals do you have?

2. What actions do you need to take to achieve them?

Take a few minutes to write these down. You already know
what they are because you've set New Years Goals before. But
now you get a "bonus" new start for the year - right here in
the middle of September!"

This is from an email I received today. First it made me laugh a bit and then it made me really think about my goals for this year and how I'm doing on them. The year is 3/4 complete and I should have 3/4 of my goal accomplished. I'm sorry to say that I don't and now I know I will have to get busy and work a little harder!

How about you? How are you doing on the goals you set for youself this year? Are you halfway there, or still at the starting block?

Well, there is no time like the present to get back on track. Take another look at your goals and see what it is that stopped you from achieving them. Were they too large? If so, break your goals into little steps. One step per week for the balance of the year. You will be surprised at how much you can achieve.

Take some time each evening to write down your goals for the next day, so that when you wake up your mind will already have begun processing the steps to accomplish those goals.

As I said above.....Happy New Year!

Fran Watson
P.S. sign up for my free ezine here: speakersinfo@getresponse.com

http://www.quickinfo247.com/7910757/EE

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Confident Public Speaking

Amazing Secrets from the World Champion of Public Speaking Click Here!
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Have Something to Say

The trouble with many speakers is that they go before an audience with their minds a blank. It is no wonder that nature, abhorring a vacuum, fills them with the nearest thing handy, which generally happens to be, "I wonder if I am doing this right! How does my hair look? I know I shall fail." Their prophetic souls are sure to be right.
It is not enough to be absorbed by your subject—to acquire self-confidence you must have something in which to be confident. If you go before an audience without any preparation, or previous knowledge of your subject, you ought to be self-conscious—you ought to be ashamed to steal the time of your audience.

Prepare yourself. Know what you are going to talk about, and, in general, how you are going to say it. Have the first few sentences worked out completely so that you may not be troubled in the beginning to find words.
Know your subject better than your hearers know it, and you have nothing to fear.

After Preparing for Success, Expect It

Let your bearing be modestly confident, but most of all be modestly confident within. Over-confidence is bad, but to tolerate premonitions of failure is worse, for a bold man may win attention by his very bearing, while a rabbit-hearted coward invites disaster.

Humility is not the personal discount that we must offer in the presence of others—against this old interpretation there has been a most healthy modern reaction. True humility any man who thoroughly knows himself must feel; but it is not a humility that assumes a worm-like meekness; it is rather a strong, vibrant prayer for greater power for service—a prayer that Uriah Heep could never have uttered.

Washington Irving once introduced Charles Dickens at a dinner given in the latter's honor. In the middle of his speech Irving hesitated, became embarrassed, and sat down awkwardly. Turning to a friend beside him he remarked, "There, I told you I would fail, and I did."

If you believe you will fail, there is no hope for you. You will.

Rid yourself of this I-am-a-poor-worm-in-the-dust idea. You are a god, with infinite capabilities. "All things are ready if the mind be so." The eagle looks the cloudless sun in the face.

Assume Mastery Over Your Audience

In public speech, as in electricity, there is a positive and a negative force. Either you or your audience are going to possess the positive factor. If you assume it you can almost invariably make it yours. If you assume the negative you are sure to be negative. Assuming a virtue or a vice vitalizes it. Summon all your power of self-direction, and remember that though your audience is infinitely more important than you, the truth is more important than both of you, because it is eternal. If your mind falters in its leadership the sword will drop from your hands.

Your assumption of being able to instruct or lead or inspire a multitude or even a small group of people may appall you as being colossal impudence—as indeed it may be; but having once essayed to speak, be courageous. BE courageous—it lies within you to be what you will. MAKE yourself be calm and confident.

Reflect that your audience will not hurt you. In facing your audience, pause a moment and look them over—a hundred chances to one they want you to succeed, for what man is so foolish as to spend his time, perhaps his money, in the hope that you will waste his investment by talking dully?

Concluding Hints

Do not make haste to begin—haste shows lack of control.
Do not apologize. It ought not to be necessary; and if it is, it will not help. Go straight ahead.

Take a deep breath, relax, and begin in a quiet conversational tone as though you were speaking to one large friend. You will not find it half as bad as you imagined; really, it is like taking a cold plunge: after you are in, the water is fine. In fact, having spoken a few times you will even anticipate the plunge with exhilaration.

To stand before an audience and make them think your thoughts after you is one of the greatest pleasures you can ever know. Instead of fearing it, you ought to be as anxious as the fox hounds straining at their leashes, or the race horses tugging at their reins.

So cast out fear, for fear is cowardly—when it is not mastered. The bravest know fear, but they do not yield to it. Face your audience pluckily—if your knees quake, MAKE them stop. In your audience lies some victory for you and the cause you represent. Go win it.

The world owes its progress to the men who have dared, and you must dare to speak the effective word that is in your heart to speak—for often it requires courage to utter a single sentence. But remember that men erect no monuments and weave no laurels for those who fear to do what they can.

No one doubts that temperament and nerves and illness and even praiseworthy modesty may, singly or combined, cause the speaker's cheek to blanch before an audience, but neither can any one doubt that coddling will magnify this weakness. The victory lies in a fearless frame of mind. Prof. Walter Dill Scott says: "Success or failure in business is caused more by mental attitude even than by mental capacity." Banish the fear-attitude; acquire the confident attitude. And remember that the only way to acquire it is—to acquire it.

Here's to speaking with confidence
Fran

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P.S. Don't Forget to Get The Secrets Click Here!

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Sunday, June 8, 2008

Jim Rohn free mp3

Jim Rohn is a well known speaker and self-improvement guru. He has developed many messages for int4ernet marketers and the general public. His 2004 Weekend Event was a masterpiece and you can still obtain copies. Why not start out now with taking a peek at what he has available for you and pick up your.... Free mp3!
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by Jim Rohn

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Thursday, March 20, 2008

What Have YOU Learned Lately?

If we do not change our direction, we are likely to end up where
we are headed.
~ Chinese Proverb
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We all have ability. The difference is how we use it. ~ Stevie
Wonder
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Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already
mastered, you will never grow. ~ Ronald E. Osborn
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What Have You Learned Lately?

By Barbara Winter

Every time I left my house, I used to see a poster near my front
door that read, "It's not where you're going...it's where you're
coming from." While that might sound like a bit of leftover
jargon from the sixties, it also bears a truth that touches us
all. Any project, any goal, any relationship with which we're
involved is colored by what we bring to it.

For a long time, I've had a strong predilection for being around
people who are positive, enthusiastic and creative. Somewhere
along the way, I realized that those nurturing kinds of people
would probably not show up in my life unless I was one myself.
And so my personal quest began to become the person I wanted to
hang out with. The quest isn't over yet, but the things I've
learned have been amazing. For example, how do ordinary people
become life's big winners?

One of the most interesting answers to that question came from
author Robert G. Allen in his book, "Creating Wealth." "The will
to prepare to win is more important than the will to win.
Preparing usually means doing those kinds of things that
failures don't like to do. It means studying and learning. It
means reading books, going to seminars. It means not being
afraid to corner experts and ask foolish questions."

Sometimes finding the time - or motivation - to keep learning
seems to be a huge challenge. As busy adults, we may have
forgotten to make Lifelong Learning a high priority. Or maybe we
never had the benefit of a teacher like Rafe Esquith who helped
us discover early on the joy of learning. I recently read his
book

"Teach Like Your Hair's on Fire" and was wildly inspired by his
story and the academic and creative wonders he consistently
turns out. Esquith teaches fifth grade in Los Angeles. Most of
his students come from immigrant homes where English is the
second language. Nevertheless, in addition to performing well
academically, all Esquith's students learn to play a musical
instrument and their annual Shakespearean performances have
received national attention. What Esquith - and all great
teachers - demonstrate is that the potential to soar resides
within all of us, but it needs to be coaxed and nurtured.
Happily, putting yourself in a roomful of others who are on the
same journey can accelerate that process.

Brian Tracy, one of the leading authorities on personal
achievement, makes this observation: "Increasing your knowledge
and skills is like using high-octane fuel in your engine on your
way to your destination...Unfortunately, for most people, their
earning ability is a fixed, or even worse, depreciating asset.
Because of this, most people just have a 'job' which stands for
'just over broke.'"

So it's probably no coincidence that the people who are the most
Joyfully Jobless just happen to be Lifelong Learners as well.
One of those folks was a woman named Donnie, but she didn't
start out with entrepreneurial ambition. Donnie Nair was a
successful real estate salesperson who came to her success after
being a housewife, mother and civil servant. Of those earlier
years she said, "I was absolutely happy and had no ambition
whatsoever."

So what unleashed this super saleswoman who continuously broke
sales records? Donnie said it sneaked up on her when she was
sitting in a Tom Hopkins Sales Seminar one day. "It was like a
light went off in my head. I just knew he was talking about me.
Success really was available to anyone who wanted it." Her
business took off like a rocket. "It didn't matter what goals I
set for myself," she recalls. "I always surpassed them."

What set Donnie Nair apart from those who are less successful
was her continuing effort to grow and learn. One evening she
called me as she was driving to a class. I asked her what she
was studying now and she said, "It might sound silly, but I've
always wanted to learn how to sing so I'm in a class for
beginners who can't carry a tune in a bucket."

Socrates said, "Let him who would move the world, first move
himself." With all the resources - the books, the seminars, the
insights of others - available for a pittance, it makes no sense
to skip the critical preparation stage. Because, in the final
analysis, winning isn't about what you have or even what you do.

Winning is about becoming the person you were meant to become,
no matter how long and difficult that journey may be. So study
and learn all you can. Take advantage of every resource you can
find. You never know what might happen if you do. Like Donnie
Nair, you could find yourself sitting in a roomful of strangers
and suddenly meet yourself.


About the Author

Barbara J. Winter is a Las Vegas-based writer, speaker and
enthusiastic fan of Changing Course. In addition to conducting
seminars for the Joyfully Jobless, she also publishes the
Winning Ways newsletter. Barbara is currently at work on a
collection of stories from people who have made the transition
from employee to entrepreneur. She'll be joining Valerie in
Northampton, MA on April 11-12 for the annual Work at What You
Love workshop (http://ChangingCourse.com/workshop.htm). Visit
Barbara online at http://BarbaraWinter.com

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Lessons in Leadership from Hockey

In Canada, it's hockey season. Most of the time when you think of hockey, you think of a team. The Sens, the Leafs, The Habs, the Rangers, the Flyers, etc. You think about how the team plays together, how they are coached, how they relate to each other on and off the ice. When I took a look at hockey and at the teams, I realized that there are a number of lessons in leadership we can learn.

Lesson 1: Each team has many members, but there are only 6 members on the ice at a time – 3 forwards, 2 defence and a goalie. The other members are on the bench waiting for their turn. It is important to not only have the main line, but also members in reserve for when that first line needs a break. When a player is on the ice giving their all for 2-3 minutes, they need to get off for at least the same length of time so they can gather their strength to do it again.

Lesson 2: Every team needs a leader and so each team has a captain. The captain can be any one of those 6 players and may be on or off the ice at any time, but the captain will be the one you will hear calling encouragement to the other players, patting them on the back when they do well, and offering words of encouragement should they mess up.

Lesson 3: A captain must be prepared to take the lead, to guide and direct his or her teammates, to demonstrate skills by his or her actions, to stand up for his or her teammates, and to take the responsibility for when things go wrong.

The captain needs to pay attention to the other team members, noting who is doing well and who is not where they should be. The captain will either speak to the player themselves or pass on information to the coach. The captain knows when someone is having a bad day and might need a little more support or when they are having a good day and want some acknowledgement.

Lesson 4: When there is training to be done, the coach looks to the captain to set the pace, to buckle down and encourage the rest of the team to do the same. The captain has to be in better shape than the others in order to be able to set an example, so he or she must train harder and smarter.

Lesson 5: During the game it is important to put the best players on the ice for the situation at hand. For instance, if the play is in the home end, and the other team is winning, it is important to have a strong defensive line so that no more goals get in. If the play is in the other end and the team needs a goal, it is important to have the best forwards on the ice – a line that “clicks” and plays well together for the chance of a goal. It is important to know if someone is having a bad day or a good day and play them accordingly.

At times there are players who like to be the “stars” of the game. They grab the puck and race down the ice to score a goal. The fans may cheer, but in the dressing room, there is no cheer for this lone hero and it is up to the captain to explain to that player that he or she is part of a team and that it is necessary to work together so that everyone has a chance to shine. If the player keeps on “going it alone”, he or she may find out that they are indeed going it alone as the rest of the team will withdraw from them. Sometimes this is interpreted by the player as jealousy, but in fact it may be disgust that the player simply won’t listen and support everyone else.

Lesson 6: It is always important to have back up players. No team can play well if they only have their minimum number of players on the ice for the whole game. Every one needs some time off to rest and recuperate, to gain strength to carry on. If they have to play the whole game they become exhausted and lose their ability to play well and may even lose their initiative to play at all.

You can see how these lessons relate easily to Toastmasters. It is important to have a leader – the President, but the President is not the team. The Executive and all the other members are the team and the members of the Executive are simply the first line. It is important for all members to be present and willing to take on some of the duties so that the other “players” can get some rest, recuperate and prepare to carry on.

It is important in Toastmasters and hockey for everyone to take their turn on the ice in order to win the game.

Be the best leader you can be

Fran Watson

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Efficiency Through Change Of Pitch

Speech is simply a modified form of singing: the principal difference being in the fact that in singing the vowel sounds are prolonged and the intervals are short, whereas in speech the words are uttered in what may be called "staccato" tones, the vowels not being specially prolonged and the intervals between the words being more distinct. The fact that in singing we have a larger range of tones does not properly distinguish it from ordinary speech. In speech we have likewise a variation of tones, and even in ordinary conversation there is a difference of from three to six semi-tones, as I have found in my investigations, and in some persons the range is as high as one octave.—WILLIAM SCHEPPEGRELL, Popular Science Monthly.

By pitch, as everyone knows, we mean the relative position of a vocal tone—as, high, medium, low, or any variation between. In public speech we apply it not only to a single utterance, as an exclamation or a monosyllable (Oh! or the) but to any group of syllables, words, and even sentences that may be spoken in a single tone. This distinction it is important to keep in mind, for the efficient speaker not only changes the pitch of successive syllables (see Chapter VII, "Efficiency through Inflection"), but gives a different pitch to different parts, or word-groups, of successive sentences.

Every Change in the Thought Demands a Change in the Voice-Pitch

Whether the speaker follows the rule consciously, unconsciously, or subconsciously, this is the logical basis upon which all good voice variation is made, yet this law is violated more often than any other by public speakers. A criminal may disregard a law of the state without detection and punishment, but the speaker who violates this regulation suffers its penalty at once in his loss of effectiveness, while his innocent hearers must endure the monotony—for monotony is not only a sin of the perpetrator, as we have shown, but a plague on the victims as well.

Change of pitch is a stumbling block for almost all beginners, and for many experienced speakers also. This is especially true when the words of the speech have been memorized.

If you wish to hear how pitch-monotony sounds, strike the same note on the piano over and over again. You have in your speaking voice a range of pitch from high to low, with a great many shades between the extremes. With all these notes available there is no excuse for offending the ears and taste of your audience by continually using the one note. True, the reiteration of the same tone in music—as in pedal point on an organ composition—may be made the foundation of beauty, for the harmony weaving about that one basic tone produces a consistent, insistent quality not felt in pure variety of chord sequences. In like manner the intoning voice in a ritual may—though it rarely does—possess a solemn beauty. But the public speaker should shun the monotone as he would a pestilence.

Continual Change of Pitch is Nature's Highest Method

In our search for the principles of efficiency we must continually go back to nature. Listen—really listen—to the birds sing. Which of these feathered tribes are most pleasing in their vocal efforts: those whose voices, though sweet, have little or no range, or those that, like the canary, the lark, and the nightingale, not only possess a considerable range but utter their notes in continual variety of combinations? Even a sweet-toned chirp, when reiterated without change, may grow maddening to the enforced listener.

The little child seldom speaks in a monotonous pitch. Observe the conversations of little folk that you hear on the street or in the home, and note the continual changes of pitch. The unconscious speech of most adults is likewise full of pleasing variations.

Imagine someone speaking the following, and consider if the effect would not be just about as indicated. Remember, we are not now discussing the inflection of single words, but the general pitch in which phrases are spoken.

(High pitch) "I'd like to leave for my vacation tomorrow,—(lower) still, I have so much to do. (Higher) Yet I suppose if I wait until I have time I'll never go."

Repeat this, first in the pitches indicated, and then all in the one pitch, as many speakers would. Observe the difference in naturalness of effect.

The following exercise should be spoken in a purely conversational tone, with numerous changes of pitch. Practise it until your delivery would cause a stranger in the next room to think you were discussing an actual incident with a friend, instead of delivering a memorized monologue. If you are in doubt about the effect you have secured, repeat it to a friend and ask him if it sounds like memorized words. If it does, it is wrong.

A SIMILAR CASE

Jack, I hear you've gone and done it.—Yes, I know; most fellows will; went and tried it once myself, sir, though you see I'm single still. And you met her—did you tell me—down at Newport, last July, and resolved to ask the question at a soirée? So did I.

I suppose you left the ball-room, with its music and its light; for they say love's flame is brightest in the darkness of the night. Well, you walked along together, overhead the starlit sky; and I'll bet—old man, confess it—you were frightened. So was I.

So you strolled along the terrace, saw the summer moonlight pour all its radiance on the waters, as they rippled on the shore, till at length you gathered courage, when you saw that none was nigh—did you draw her close and tell her that you loved her? So did I.

Well, I needn't ask you further, and I'm sure I wish you joy. Think I'll wander down and see you when you're married—eh, my boy? When the honeymoon is over and you're settled down, we'll try—What? the deuce you say! Rejected—you rejected? So was I.
—Anonymous.

The necessity for changing pitch is so self-evident that it should be grasped and applied immediately. However, it requires patient drill to free yourself from monotony of pitch.

In natural conversation you think of an idea first, and then find words to express it. In memorized speeches you are liable to speak the words, and then think what they mean—and many speakers seem to trouble very little even about that. Is it any wonder that reversing the process should reverse the result? Get back to nature in your methods of expression.

Read the following selection in a nonchalant manner, never pausing to think what the words really mean. Try it again, carefully studying the thought you have assimilated. Believe the idea, desire to express it effectively, and imagine an audience before you. Look them earnestly in the face and repeat this truth. If you follow directions, you will note that you have made many changes of pitch after several readings.

It is not work that kills men; it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more upon a man than he can bear. Worry is rust upon the blade. It is not the revolution that destroys the machinery but the friction.—HENRY WARD BEECHER.

Change of Pitch Produces Emphasis

This is a highly important statement. Variety in pitch maintains the hearer's interest, but one of the surest ways to compel attention—to secure unusual emphasis—is to change the pitch of your voice suddenly and in a marked degree. A great contrast always arouses attention. White shows whiter against black; a cannon roars louder in the Sahara silence than in the Chicago hurly burly—these are simple illustrations of the power of contrast.

In attempting these contrasts of pitch it is important to avoid unpleasant extremes. Most speakers pitch their voices too high. One of the secrets of Mr. Bryan's eloquence is his low, bell-like voice. Shakespeare said that a soft, gentle, low voice was "an excellent thing in woman;" it is no less so in man, for a voice need not be blatant to be powerful,—and must not be, to be pleasing.

In closing, let us emphasize anew the importance of using variety of pitch. You sing up and down the scale, first touching one note and then another above or below it. Do likewise in speaking.

Thought and individual taste must generally be your guide as to where to use a low, a moderate, or a high pitch.

Pitch your way to competent public speaking!

Fran Watson

P.S. For more help in public speaking check out your local Toastmasters club

Tempo - Efficienty Through Change of Pace

Hear how he clears the points o' Faith
Wi' rattlin' an' thumpin'!Now meekly calm, now wild in wrath,
He's stampin' an' he's jumpin'.

—ROBERT BURNS, Holy Fair.

The Latins have bequeathed to us a word that has no precise equivalent in our tongue, therefore we have accepted it, body unchanged—it is the word tempo, and means rate of movement, as measured by the time consumed in executing that movement.

Thus far its use has been largely limited to the vocal and musical arts, but it would not be surprising to hear tempo applied to more concrete matters, for it perfectly illustrates the real meaning of the word to say that an ox-cart moves in slow tempo, an express train in a fast tempo. Our guns that fire six hundred times a minute, shoot at a fast tempo; the old muzzle loader that required three minutes to load, shot at a slow tempo. Every musician understands this principle: it requires longer to sing a half note than it does an eighth note.

Now tempo is a tremendously important element in good platform work, for when a speaker delivers a whole address at very nearly the same rate of speed he is depriving himself of one of his chief means of emphasis and power. The baseball pitcher, the bowler in cricket, the tennis server, all know the value of change of pace—change of tempo—in delivering their ball, and so must the public speaker observe its power.

Change of Tempo Lends Naturalness to the Delivery

Naturalness, or at least seeming naturalness, as was explained in the chapter on "Monotony," is greatly to be desired, and a continual change of tempo will go a long way towards establishing it. Mr. Howard Lindsay, Stage Manager for Miss Margaret Anglin, recently said to the present writer that change of pace was one of the most effective tools of the actor. While it must be admitted that the stilted mouthings of many actors indicate cloudy mirrors, still the public speaker would do well to study the actor's use of tempo.

There is, however, a more fundamental and effective source at which to study naturalness—a trait which, once lost, is shy of recapture: that source is the common conversation of any well-bred circle. This is the standard we strive to reach on both stage and platform—with certain differences, of course, which will appear as we go on. If speaker and actor were to reproduce with absolute fidelity every variation of utterance—every whisper, grunt, pause, silence, and explosion—of conversation as we find it typically in everyday life, much of the interest would leave the public utterance. Naturalness in public address is something more than faithful reproduction of nature—it is the reproduction of those typical parts of nature's work which are truly representative of the whole.

The realistic story-writer understands this in writing dialogue, and we must take it into account in seeking for naturalness through change of tempo.

Suppose you speak the first of the following sentences in a slow tempo, the second quickly, observing how natural is the effect. Then speak both with the same rapidity and note the difference.

I can't recall what I did with my knife. Oh, now I remember I gave it to Mary.

We see here that a change of tempo often occurs in the same sentence—for tempo applies not only to single words, groups of words, and groups of sentences, but to the major parts of a public speech as well.

To changing the pace of your world!

Fran Watson

Emphasis and Subordination

In a word, the principle of emphasis ... is followed best, not by remembering particular rules, but by being full of a particular feeling.—C.S. BALDWIN, Writing and Speaking.

The gun that scatters too much does not bag the birds. The same principle applies to speech. The speaker that fires his force and emphasis at random into a sentence will not get results. Not every word is of special importance—therefore only certain words demand emphasis.

You say MassaCHUsetts and MinneAPolis, you do not emphasize each syllable alike, but hit the accented syllable with force and hurry over the unimportant ones. Now why do you not apply this principle in speaking a sentence? To some extent you do, in ordinary speech; but do you in public discourse? It is there that monotony caused by lack of emphasis is so painfully apparent.

So far as emphasis is concerned, you may consider the average sentence as just one big word, with the important word as the accented syllable. Note the following:
"Destiny is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice."

You might as well say MASS-A-CHU-SETTS, emphasizing every syllable equally, as to lay equal stress on each word in the foregoing sentences.

Speak it aloud and see. Of course you will want to emphasize destiny, for it is the principal idea in your declaration, and you will put some emphasis on not, else your hearers may think you are affirming that destiny is a matter of chance. By all means you must emphasize chance, for it is one of the two big ideas in the statement.

Another reason why chance takes emphasis is that it is contrasted with choice in the next sentence. Obviously, the author has contrasted these ideas purposely, so that they might be more emphatic, and here we see that contrast is one of the very first devices to gain emphasis.

As a public speaker you can assist this emphasis of contrast with your voice. If you say, "My horse is not black," what color immediately comes into mind? White, naturally, for that is the opposite of black. If you wish to bring out the thought that destiny is a matter of choice, you can do so more effectively by first saying that "DESTINY is NOT a matter of CHANCE." Is not the color of the horse impressed upon us more emphatically when you say, "My horse is NOT BLACK. He is WHITE" than it would be by hearing you assert merely that your horse is white?

In the second sentence of the statement there is only one important word—choice. It is the one word that positively defines the quality of the subject being discussed, and the author of those lines desired to bring it out emphatically, as he has shown by contrasting it with another idea. These lines, then, would read like this:

"DESTINY is NOT a matter of CHANCE. It is a matter of CHOICE." Now read this over, striking the words in capitals with a great deal of force.

In almost every sentence there are a few MOUNTAIN PEAK WORDS that represent the big, important ideas. When you pick up the evening paper you can tell at a glance which are the important news articles. Thanks to the editor, he does not tell about a "hold up" in Hong Kong in the same sized type as he uses to report the death of five firemen in your home city. Size of type is his device to show emphasis in bold relief. He brings out sometimes even in red headlines the striking news of the day.

It would be a boon to speech-making if speakers would conserve the attention of their audiences in the same way and emphasize only the words representing the important ideas. The average speaker will deliver the foregoing line on destiny with about the same amount of emphasis on each word. Instead of saying, "It is a matter of CHOICE," he will deliver it, "It is a matter of choice," or "IT IS A MATTER OF CHOICE"—both equally bad.

Charles Dana, the famous editor of The New York Sun, told one of his reporters that if he went up the street and saw a dog bite a man, to pay no attention to it. The Sun could not afford to waste the time and attention of its readers on such unimportant happenings. "But," said Mr. Dana, "if you see a man bite a dog, hurry back to the office and write the story." Of course that is news; that is unusual.

Now the speaker who says "IT IS A MATTER OF CHOICE" is putting too much emphasis upon things that are of no more importance to metropolitan readers than a dog bite, and when he fails to emphasize "choice" he is like the reporter who "passes up" the man's biting a dog. The ideal speaker makes his big words stand out like mountain peaks; his unimportant words are submerged like stream-beds. His big thoughts stand like huge oaks; his ideas of no especial value are merely like the grass around the tree.

From all this we may deduce this important principle: EMPHASIS is a matter of CONTRAST and COMPARISON.

Recently the New York American featured an editorial by Arthur Brisbane. Note the following, printed in the same type as given here.

We do not know what the President THOUGHT when he got that message, or what the elephant thinks when he sees the mouse, but we do know what the President DID.

The words THOUGHT and DID immediately catch the reader's attention because they are different from the others, not especially because they are larger. If all the rest of the words in this sentence were made ten times as large as they are, and DID and THOUGHT were kept at their present size, they would still be emphatic, because different.

Take the following from Robert Chambers' novel, "The Business of Life." The words you, had, would, are all emphatic, because they have been made different.

He looked at her in angry astonishment.

"Well, what do you call it if it isn't cowardice—to slink off and marry a defenseless girl like that!"

"Did you expect me to give you a chance to destroy me and poison Jacqueline's mind? If I had been guilty of the thing with which you charge me, what I have done would have been cowardly. Otherwise, it is justified."

To make a word emphatic, deliver it differently from the manner in which the words surrounding it are delivered. If you have been talking loudly, utter the emphatic word in a concentrated whisper—and you have intense emphasis. If you have been going fast, go very slow on the emphatic word. If you have been talking on a low pitch, jump to a high one on the emphatic word. If you have been talking on a high pitch, take a low one on your emphatic ideas.

Here we are considering only one form of emphasis: that of applying force to the important word and subordinating the unimportant words. Do not forget: this is one of the main methods that you must continually employ in getting your effects.
Let us not confound loudness with emphasis. To yell is not a sign of earnestness, intelligence, or feeling. The kind of force that we want applied to the emphatic word is not entirely physical. True, the emphatic word may be spoken more loudly, or it may be spoken more softly, but the real quality desired is intensity, earnestness. It must come from within, outward.

A speaker said: "The curse of this country is not a lack of education. It's politics." He emphasized curse, lack, education, politics. The other words were hurried over and thus given no comparative importance at all. The word politics was flamed out with great feeling as he slapped his hands together indignantly. His emphasis was both correct and powerful. He concentrated all our attention on the words that meant something, instead of holding it up on such words as of this, a, of, It's.

What would you think of a guide who agreed to show New York to a stranger and then took up his time by visiting Chinese laundries and boot-blacking "parlors" on the side streets? There is only one excuse for a speaker's asking the attention of his audience: He must have either truth or entertainment for them. If he wearies their attention with trifles they will have neither vivacity nor desire left when he reaches words of Wall-Street and skyscraper importance. You do not dwell on these small words in your everyday conversation, because you are not a conversational bore. Apply the correct method of everyday speech to the platform. As we have noted elsewhere, public speaking is very much like conversation enlarged.

Sometimes, for big emphasis, it is advisable to lay stress on every single syllable in a word, as absolutely in the following sentence:

I ab-so-lute-ly refuse to grant your demand.

Now and then this principle should be applied to an emphatic sentence by stressing each word. It is a good device for exciting special attention, and it furnishes a pleasing variety. Patrick Henry's notable climax could be delivered in that manner very effectively: "Give—me—liberty—or—give—me—death." The italicized part of the following might also be delivered with this every-word emphasis. Of course, there are many ways of delivering it; this is only one of several good interpretations that might be chosen.

Knowing the price we must pay, the sacrifice we must make, the burdens we must carry, the assaults we must endure—knowing full well the cost—yet we enlist, and we enlist for the war. For we know the justice of our cause, and we know, too, its certain triumph.—From "Pass Prosperity Around," by ALBERT J. BEVERIDGE, before the Chicago National Convention of the Progressive Party.

Strongly emphasizing a single word has a tendency to suggest its antithesis. Notice how the meaning changes by merely putting the emphasis on different words in the following sentence. The parenthetical expressions would really not be needed to supplement the emphatic words.

I intended to buy a house this Spring (even if you did not).
I INTENDED to buy a house this Spring (but something prevented).
I intended to BUY a house this Spring (instead of renting as heretofore).
I intended to buy a HOUSE this Spring (and not an automobile).
I intended to buy a house THIS Spring (instead of next Spring).
I intended to buy a house this SPRING (instead of in the Autumn).

When a great battle is reported in the papers, they do not keep emphasizing the same facts over and over again. They try to get new information, or a "new slant." The news that takes an important place in the morning edition will be relegated to a small space in the late afternoon edition. We are interested in new ideas and new facts. This principle has a very important bearing in determining your emphasis. Do not emphasize the same idea over and over again unless you desire to lay extra stress on it. As a general rule, the new idea, the "new slant," whether in a newspaper report of a battle or a speaker's enunciation of his ideas, is emphatic.
In the following selection, "larger" is emphatic, for it is the new idea. All men have eyes, but this man asks for a LARGER eye.

This man with the larger eye says he will discover, not rivers or safety appliances for aeroplanes, but NEW STARS and SUNS. "New stars and suns" are hardly as emphatic as the word "larger." Why? Because we expect an astronomer to discover heavenly bodies rather than cooking recipes. The words, "Republic needs" in the next sentence, are emphatic; they introduce a new and important idea. Republics have always needed men, but the author says they need NEW men. "New" is emphatic because it introduces a new idea. In like manner, "soil," "grain," "tools," are also emphatic.

The most emphatic words are italicized in this selection. Are there any others you would emphasize? Why?

The old astronomer said, "Give me a larger eye, and I will discover new stars and suns." That is what the republic needs today—new men—men who are wise toward the soil, toward the grains, toward the tools. If God would only raise up for the people two or three men like Watt, Fulton and McCormick, they would be worth more to the State than that treasure box named California or Mexico. And the real supremacy of man is based upon his capacity for education. Man is unique in the length of his childhood, which means the period of plasticity and education. The childhood of a moth, the distance that stands between the hatching of the robin and its maturity, represent a few hours or a few weeks, but twenty years for growth stands between man's cradle and his citizenship. This protracted childhood makes it possible to hand over to the boy all the accumulated stores achieved by races and civilizations through thousands of years.
—Anonymous.

You must understand that there are no steel-riveted rules of emphasis. It is not always possible to designate which word must, and which must not be emphasized. One speaker will put one interpretation on a speech, another speaker will use different emphasis to bring out a different interpretation. No one can say that one interpretation is right and the other wrong. Your own intelligence must guide—and greatly to your profit.

YOU can do it! I have FAITH in your ability!!

To improved public speaking

Fran Watson

The Sin of Monotony

One day Ennui was born from Uniformity.—MOTTE.

Our English has changed with the years so that many words now connote more than they did originally. This is true of the word monotonous. From "having but one tone," it has come to mean more broadly, "lack of variation."

The monotonous speaker not only drones along in the same volume and pitch of tone but uses always the same emphasis, the same speed, the same thoughts—or dispenses with thought altogether.

Monotony, the cardinal and most common sin of the public speaker, is not a transgression—it is rather a sin of omission, for it consists in living up to the confession of the Prayer Book: "We have left undone those things we ought to have done."

Emerson says, "The virtue of art lies in detachment, in sequestering one object from the embarrassing variety." That is just what the monotonous speaker fails to do—he does not detach one thought or phrase from another, they are all expressed in the same manner.

To tell you that your speech is monotonous may mean very little to you, so let us look at the nature—and the curse—of monotony in other spheres of life, then we shall appreciate more fully how it will blight an otherwise good speech.

If the stereo in the adjoining apartment grinds out just three selections over and over again, it is pretty safe to assume that your neighbor has no other CDs or records. If a speaker uses only a few of his powers, it points very plainly to the fact that the rest of his powers are not developed. Monotony reveals our limitations.
In its effect on its victim, monotony is actually deadly—it will drive the bloom from the cheek and the lustre from the eye as quickly as sin, and often leads to viciousness. The worst punishment that human ingenuity has ever been able to invent is extreme monotony—solitary confinement. Lay a marble on the table and do nothing eighteen hours of the day but change that marble from one point to another and back again, and you will go insane if you continue long enough.

So this thing that shortens life, and is used as the most cruel of punishments in our prisons, is the thing that will destroy all the life and force of a speech. Avoid it as you would shun a deadly dull bore. The "idle rich" can have half-a-dozen homes, command all the varieties of foods gathered from the four corners of the earth, and sail for Africa or Alaska at their pleasure; but the poverty-stricken man must walk or take a street car—he does not have the choice of yacht, auto, or special train. He must spend the most of his life in labor and be content with the staples of the food-market. Monotony is poverty, whether in speech or in life. Strive to increase the variety of your speech as the business man labors to augment his wealth.

Bird-songs, forest glens, and mountains are not monotonous—it is the long rows of brown-stone fronts and the miles of paved streets that are so terribly same. Nature in her wealth gives us endless variety; man with his limitations is often monotonous. Get back to nature in your methods of speech-making.

The power of variety lies in its pleasure-giving quality. The great truths of the world have often been couched in fascinating stories—"Les Miserables," for instance. If you wish to teach or influence men, you must please them, first or last. Strike the same note on the piano over and over again. This will give you some idea of the displeasing, jarring effect monotony has on the ear. The dictionary defines "monotonous" as being synonymous with "wearisome." That is putting it mildly. It is maddening. The department-store prince does not disgust the public by playing only the one tune, "Come Buy My Wares!" He gives recitals on a $125,000 organ, and the pleased people naturally slip into a buying mood.

How to Conquer Monotony

We obviate monotony in dress by replenishing our wardrobes. We avoid monotony in speech by multiplying our powers of speech. We multiply our powers of speech by increasing our tools.

The carpenter has special implements with which to construct the several parts of a building. The organist has certain keys and stops which he manipulates to produce his harmonies and effects. In like manner the speaker has certain instruments and tools at his command by which he builds his argument, plays on the feelings, and guides the beliefs of his audience.

Why did not the Children of Israel whirl through the desert in limousines, and why did not Noah have moving-picture entertainments and talking machines on the Ark? The laws that enable us to operate an automobile, produce moving-pictures, or music on the Victrola, would have worked just as well then as they do today. It was ignorance of law that for ages deprived humanity of our modern conveniences. Many speakers still use ox-cart methods in their speech instead of employing automobile or overland-express methods. They are ignorant of laws that make for efficiency in speaking. Just to the extent that you regard and use the laws will you have efficiency and force in your speaking; and just to the extent that you disregard them will your speaking be feeble and ineffective. We cannot impress too thoroughly upon you the necessity for a real working mastery of these principles. They are the very foundations of successful speaking. "Get your principles right," said Napoleon, "and the rest is a matter of detail."

It is useless to shoe a dead horse, and all the sound principles in Christendom will never make a live speech out of a dead one. So let it be understood that public speaking is not a matter of mastering a few dead rules; the most important law of public speech is the necessity for truth, force, feeling, and life. Forget all else, but not this.

When you have mastered the mechanics of speech outlined in the next few chapters you will no longer be troubled with monotony. The complete knowledge of these principles and the ability to apply them will give you great variety in your powers of expression. But they cannot be mastered and applied by thinking or reading about them—you must practise, practise, PRACTISE. If no one else will listen to you, listen to yourself—you must always be your own best critic, and the severest one of all.

The technical principles are all founded on the practices that good speakers and actors adopt—either naturally and unconsciously or under instruction—in getting their effects.

It is useless to warn the student that he must be natural. To be natural may be to be monotonous. The little strawberry up in the arctics with a few tiny seeds and an acid tang is a natural berry, but it is not to be compared with the improved variety that we enjoy here. The dwarfed oak on the rocky hillside is natural, but a poor thing compared with the beautiful tree found in the rich, moist bottom lands. Be natural—but improve your natural gifts until you have approached the ideal, for we must strive after idealized nature, in fruit, tree, and speech.

Are you guilty of monotony? If so, check out your local Toastmasters club for help!

Confident Public Speaking

Have Something to Say

The trouble with many speakers is that they go before an audience with their minds a blank. It is no wonder that nature, abhorring a vacuum, fills them with the nearest thing handy, which generally happens to be, "I wonder if I am doing this right! How does my hair look? I know I shall fail." Their prophetic souls are sure to be right.
It is not enough to be absorbed by your subject—to acquire self-confidence you must have something in which to be confident. If you go before an audience without any preparation, or previous knowledge of your subject, you ought to be self-conscious—you ought to be ashamed to steal the time of your audience.

Prepare yourself. Know what you are going to talk about, and, in general, how you are going to say it. Have the first few sentences worked out completely so that you may not be troubled in the beginning to find words.

Know your subject better than your hearers know it, and you have nothing to fear.

After Preparing for Success, Expect It
Let your bearing be modestly confident, but most of all be modestly confident within. Over-confidence is bad, but to tolerate premonitions of failure is worse, for a bold man may win attention by his very bearing, while a rabbit-hearted coward invites disaster.

Humility is not the personal discount that we must offer in the presence of others—against this old interpretation there has been a most healthy modern reaction. True humility any man who thoroughly knows himself must feel; but it is not a humility that assumes a worm-like meekness; it is rather a strong, vibrant prayer for greater power for service—a prayer that Uriah Heep could never have uttered.

Washington Irving once introduced Charles Dickens at a dinner given in the latter's honor. In the middle of his speech Irving hesitated, became embarrassed, and sat down awkwardly. Turning to a friend beside him he remarked, "There, I told you I would fail, and I did."

If you believe you will fail, there is no hope for you. You will.

Rid yourself of this I-am-a-poor-worm-in-the-dust idea. You are a god, with infinite capabilities. "All things are ready if the mind be so." The eagle looks the cloudless sun in the face.

Assume Mastery Over Your Audience

In public speech, as in electricity, there is a positive and a negative force. Either you or your audience are going to possess the positive factor. If you assume it you can almost invariably make it yours. If you assume the negative you are sure to be negative. Assuming a virtue or a vice vitalizes it. Summon all your power of self-direction, and remember that though your audience is infinitely more important than you, the truth is more important than both of you, because it is eternal. If your mind falters in its leadership the sword will drop from your hands.

Your assumption of being able to instruct or lead or inspire a multitude or even a small group of people may appall you as being colossal impudence—as indeed it may be; but having once essayed to speak, be courageous. BE courageous—it lies within you to be what you will. MAKE yourself be calm and confident.

Reflect that your audience will not hurt you. In facing your audience, pause a moment and look them over—a hundred chances to one they want you to succeed, for what man is so foolish as to spend his time, perhaps his money, in the hope that you will waste his investment by talking dully?

Concluding Hints

Do not make haste to begin—haste shows lack of control.

Do not apologize. It ought not to be necessary; and if it is, it will not help. Go straight ahead.

Take a deep breath, relax, and begin in a quiet conversational tone as though you were speaking to one large friend. You will not find it half as bad as you imagined; really, it is like taking a cold plunge: after you are in, the water is fine. In fact, having spoken a few times you will even anticipate the plunge with exhilaration.

To stand before an audience and make them think your thoughts after you is one of the greatest pleasures you can ever know. Instead of fearing it, you ought to be as anxious as the fox hounds straining at their leashes, or the race horses tugging at their reins.

So cast out fear, for fear is cowardly—when it is not mastered. The bravest know fear, but they do not yield to it. Face your audience pluckily—if your knees quake, MAKE them stop. In your audience lies some victory for you and the cause you represent. Go win it.

The world owes its progress to the men who have dared, and you must dare to speak the effective word that is in your heart to speak—for often it requires courage to utter a single sentence. But remember that men erect no monuments and weave no laurels for those who fear to do what they can.

No one doubts that temperament and nerves and illness and even praiseworthy modesty may, singly or combined, cause the speaker's cheek to blanch before an audience, but neither can any one doubt that coddling will magnify this weakness. The victory lies in a fearless frame of mind. Prof. Walter Dill Scott says: "Success or failure in business is caused more by mental attitude even than by mental capacity." Banish the fear-attitude; acquire the confident attitude. And remember that the only way to acquire it is—to acquire it.

To confident public speaking!!

Fran Watson

P.S. To find out more about public speaking or to further develop your skills, contact your local Toastmasters club.

Self Consciousness In Public Speaking

“There is a strange sensation often experienced in the presence of an audience. It may proceed from the gaze of the many eyes that turn upon the speaker, especially if he permits himself to steadily return that gaze. Most speakers have been conscious of this in a nameless thrill, a real something, pervading the atmosphere, tangible, evanescent, indescribable. All writers have borne testimony to the power of a speaker's eye in impressing an audience. This influence which we are now considering is the reverse of that picture—the power their eyes may exert upon him, especially before he begins to speak: after the inward fires of oratory are fanned into flame the eyes of the audience lose all terror.”—William Pittenger, Extempore Speech.

Students of public speaking continually ask, "How can I overcome self-consciousness and the fear that paralyzes me before an audience?"

Practise, practise, PRACTISE!

Practise in speaking before an audience will tend to remove all fear of audiences, just as practise in swimming will lead to confidence and facility in the water. You must learn to speak by speaking.

Do not be disheartened if at first you suffer from stage-fright. For one reason or another, some master-speakers never entirely overcome stage-fright, but it will pay you to spare no pains to conquer it. Daniel Webster failed in his first appearance and had to take his seat without finishing his speech because he was nervous. Gladstone was often troubled with self-consciousness in the beginning of an address. Beecher was always perturbed before talking in public.

Be Absorbed by Your Subject

If you feel deeply about your subject you will be able to think of little else. Concentration is a process of distraction from less important matters. It is too late to think about the cut of your coat when once you are upon the platform, so centre your interest on what you are about to say—fill your mind with your speech-material and, like the infilling water in the glass, it will drive out your unsubstantial fears.

Self-consciousness is undue consciousness of self, and, for the purpose of delivery, self is secondary to your subject, not only in the opinion of the audience, but, if you are wise, in your own. To hold any other view is to regard yourself as an exhibit instead of as a messenger with a message worth delivering.

If the theater caught fire you could rush to the stage and shout directions to the audience without any self-consciousness, for the importance of what you were saying would drive all fear-thoughts out of your mind.

Far worse than self-consciousness through fear of doing poorly is self-consciousness through assumption of doing well. The first sign of greatness is when a man does not attempt to look and act great. Before you can call yourself a man at all, Kipling assures us, you must "not look too good nor talk too wise."

Nothing advertises itself so thoroughly as conceit. One may be so full of self as to be empty. Voltaire said, "We must conceal self-love." But that can not be done. You know this to be true, for you have recognized overweening self-love in others. If you have it, others are seeing it in you. There are things in this world bigger than self, and in working for them self will be forgotten, or—what is better—remembered only so as to help us win toward higher things.

Yours for Confident Public Speaking

Fran Watson

Friday, February 1, 2008

What's In A Handshake?

All over the globe, people greet each other in different ways. This is brought about by different cultures. Even the primitives of yesterdays down to the present tribal groups use greetings to show respect and acknowledgement of meeting one another.

The primitives show their hands as a gesture that they come in peace. A roman salute during the time of Julius Caesar is done with the right hand clenched in a fist and sharply drawn to the chest. Grasping each other’s forearm by the hand is also practiced then. In the western world, youngsters greet each other with a high five (at times with both hands). Soldiers greet their superiors with a snappy salute. The typical handshake among the general public is done with each other’s palms interlocking.

If you are traveling to different places, it is still best to check first what the local custom is with regards to the proper greeting procedure. It is better to do it correctly than to be sorry after doing it. There’s a saying: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” Proper greeting or handshake best describes this expression.

To know the right greeting procedure, ask around the local circle. Your good intention might be interpreted as an insult and you know what follows thereafter, especially in places where you’re a visitor. This becomes more important if you’re a first timer to a particular country wherein you’re not familiar with the cultures.

There are incidences wherein a handshake accompanied by another gesture is interpreted in more ways than one. Take for example, a typical handshake done by some politicians. A common handshake accompanied by a grasp by the left hand to the right hand or to the right shoulder of the other person may have different meanings to some people. Some interpret it as being overly comfortable with the other person when in fact the politician hardly knows the person. Between close friends, this may be proper. But between two individuals who hardly know each other, this may mean otherwise.

The lesson here is to be reserved in your gesture. What is intended to be good might not be interpreted as such.

In the event that there is confusion on how the proper gesture in a locality is administered, it may be safer to throw a sincere smile instead of a handshake. Since a handshake is considered a type of body language, so is a smile. A smile almost always never fails in any culture around the world.

Local folks who extend their hands or greet first may also give you an idea of the way a greeting is administered in a certain place. Duplicating what they do or simply returning the favor can be safely assumed to be the proper way a greeting should be done in that place.

Some athletes who have strong hands are cautious in shaking hands because they fear hurting other people’s hands. As for those whose livelihood is dependent on their hands, like surgeons, dentists, and musicians, they are likewise cautious in shaking other people’s hands. This time it’s their hands they want to protect.

So, what’s in a handshake? It may be just a casual greeting but it may also mean a lot.


Happy greetings
Fran